Every year on January 1st thousands of people make New Year’s Resolutions. They vow to save money, lose weight, be more patient with their spouses and children, get a better job etc. I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions many years ago when I found that they were the same every year. My resolutions were the same because I had failed to accomplish them the year before. I failed to accomplish them the year before because after I promised myself to do those things, I stopped right there. Who knew I was supposed to have a plan to make it happen??!!! When I figured out how to make a plan, my resolutions became reality.
I think over the years the term New Year’s Resolution has become convoluted. Most people think that a New Year’s Resolution is a promise to ones self to do something. The dictionary defines the word “resolution” as a solution or settlement to a problem; it doesn’t say anything about a promise or even a goal. If that is the case then we must first identify the problem(s). Once the problem(s) is identified, we can then decide the best course of action for eliminating that problem. I have listed below some actionable ideas that I have learned over the years in the hopes it will help you achieve a resolution!!
1. Be Specific: set time lines, give yourself numbers to follow (I am going to lose 10 pounds this month)
2. Be Flexible: Don’t be afraid to add to your goals or to modify them. Life will ALWAYS get in the way and you will always have set backs. Expect them, but don’t throw the list out, just modify it so that it is achievable, but not impossible.
3. Be realistic. You will never lose 50 pounds in one month. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
4. Visibility: Keep ‘em where you can see ‘em. Some people make a “goal board” by cutting out pictures from magazines of houses, cars or vacation spots and put them on their board.
5. Accountability: Tell people what your goals are. It helps to keep you accountable if you know someone else is watching to see if you will make it and they can help support you in your efforts.
6. Reference often: Refer back to your to-do list often. It does you no good to write it down if you never refer back to it.
7. Take baby steps every day: No matter which goal you are working towards, always include steps every day, week, month etc that will bring you closer to realizing that goal.
8. Mark through your goals as you achieve them. This will give you a sense of accomplishment and you will be able to visually see how you are getting closer to your long range goals.
9. Celebrate your successes. When you lose 40 pounds, not only mark it off your list but reward yourself doing something for yourself (that doesn’t involve food)
10. As you accomplish your goals, set new ones. A successful life is a fulfilled life, and a fulfilled life is one in which your goals have been met.
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS!!!!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Happy Birthdy Daddy!!
My father was raised by an alcoholic mother and a physically abusive step-father. They made it their life’s mission to make sure he grew up with no self confidence and a lot of anger. The only thing that saved him from prison or death was the fact that he joined the Air Force and he married my mother. As his birthday nears (December 9th), I am walking back through my life and looking at all of the ways in which he molded me.
My youngest memories are of riding on his back like a horse and my older memories consisted of him giving me a ride to the bus stop on his bicycle (he rode it to work). Looking back over the years my Dad taught me so much and probably not things that most Dad’s taught their daughters. He taught me to play football, not just the rules of the game but how to physically play the game. And play I did, whenever the neighborhood boys got together for a game I was right in the middle of it, and it wasn’t touch or flag football either, no way Jose’ it was full body tackle with no pads. I was in heaven and Daddy was on the sidelines cheering me on!!! On Sundays we sat together and watched the games on TV. We rooted for our favorite teams and argued over the calls by the officials. He taught me how to check and change the oil in my car. He also showed me how to check all the fluids and the tire pressure. He taught me my multiplication tables and how to balance a checkbook. He taught me the value of putting money aside in a savings account (I didn’t learn that lesson too well). He taught me through example the importance of volunteering and helping others and that it’s not always about us. He taught me that the world is not always fair. He let me take my falls and learn my lessons. He taught me how to run and was probably my first exposure to exercise. Mostly I played while he was running around the track but I will never forget his persistence and determination to finish. He taught me how to give HIM a massage and a good head rub. I remember having lunch dates with him—just me and him and man did I feel special. But he never showed favoritism, he would take my sister the next month on a date. He taught me how to cut grass and while my friends were spending their summers babysitting I was taking the boy’s jobs and cutting lawns in the neighborhood. He taught me how to cook gravy and mashed potatoes from scratch. One of my favorite memories is of him joining me at the piano with his guitar and we would sing together, for hours. We also sang duets together at Church and Sunday School, I was probably twelve at the time. He never put limits on me and never told me I couldn’t do something. He never laughed at any ideas that I had. He always told me to go for it. He empowered me to believe there was nothing I couldn’t achieve.
In 1985 he was diagnosed with oral cancer. He was very proud and wouldn’t talk to us about his feelings or his fears. He battled cancer for 14 years. I was with him when the oncologist told him there were no more trial studies for him to do and there were no more treatments or medications for him to try. The best they could offer was to give him medication to make him comfortable and they sent him home to die. That was the second time in my life I have ever seen my father cry (the first time was at his mother’s funeral). By this time I no longer lived at home but I would visit him often and try to give my mom a break as she was the primary caregiver. He had lost the ability to talk because the tumors were so massive, the only way he could communicate was by writing on a chalk board and towards the end he was too weak and too medicated to even do that. Sometimes we just lay on the bed together, I would read aloud to him while he dozed. I learned to feed him through a tube and to clean and medicate the tumors on his face. We planned his funeral together, right down to the pall bearers, the Church and the music, to include the bag pipes at the cemetery. He died December 2, 1999, fourteen years after he had been diagnosed with cancer. He was one week short of his 65th birthday.
My Daddy had every opportunity to be an abusive father and husband. He fought demons in his mind all of his life. I never knew how much of a struggle it was for him to be the great dad that he was, he certainly didn’t have any role models to follow, he acted out of instinct and love. He was not perfect by any means, but considering where he came from and his low self esteem he could not have raised two girls to be any more independent and self confident had he had the perfect childhood himself. He pulled himself up out of the ditch many, many times and accomplished many wonderful things in his life and touched many lives through his volunteer efforts. He taught me how to live and he taught me how to die. Happy Birthday Daddy!
My youngest memories are of riding on his back like a horse and my older memories consisted of him giving me a ride to the bus stop on his bicycle (he rode it to work). Looking back over the years my Dad taught me so much and probably not things that most Dad’s taught their daughters. He taught me to play football, not just the rules of the game but how to physically play the game. And play I did, whenever the neighborhood boys got together for a game I was right in the middle of it, and it wasn’t touch or flag football either, no way Jose’ it was full body tackle with no pads. I was in heaven and Daddy was on the sidelines cheering me on!!! On Sundays we sat together and watched the games on TV. We rooted for our favorite teams and argued over the calls by the officials. He taught me how to check and change the oil in my car. He also showed me how to check all the fluids and the tire pressure. He taught me my multiplication tables and how to balance a checkbook. He taught me the value of putting money aside in a savings account (I didn’t learn that lesson too well). He taught me through example the importance of volunteering and helping others and that it’s not always about us. He taught me that the world is not always fair. He let me take my falls and learn my lessons. He taught me how to run and was probably my first exposure to exercise. Mostly I played while he was running around the track but I will never forget his persistence and determination to finish. He taught me how to give HIM a massage and a good head rub. I remember having lunch dates with him—just me and him and man did I feel special. But he never showed favoritism, he would take my sister the next month on a date. He taught me how to cut grass and while my friends were spending their summers babysitting I was taking the boy’s jobs and cutting lawns in the neighborhood. He taught me how to cook gravy and mashed potatoes from scratch. One of my favorite memories is of him joining me at the piano with his guitar and we would sing together, for hours. We also sang duets together at Church and Sunday School, I was probably twelve at the time. He never put limits on me and never told me I couldn’t do something. He never laughed at any ideas that I had. He always told me to go for it. He empowered me to believe there was nothing I couldn’t achieve.
In 1985 he was diagnosed with oral cancer. He was very proud and wouldn’t talk to us about his feelings or his fears. He battled cancer for 14 years. I was with him when the oncologist told him there were no more trial studies for him to do and there were no more treatments or medications for him to try. The best they could offer was to give him medication to make him comfortable and they sent him home to die. That was the second time in my life I have ever seen my father cry (the first time was at his mother’s funeral). By this time I no longer lived at home but I would visit him often and try to give my mom a break as she was the primary caregiver. He had lost the ability to talk because the tumors were so massive, the only way he could communicate was by writing on a chalk board and towards the end he was too weak and too medicated to even do that. Sometimes we just lay on the bed together, I would read aloud to him while he dozed. I learned to feed him through a tube and to clean and medicate the tumors on his face. We planned his funeral together, right down to the pall bearers, the Church and the music, to include the bag pipes at the cemetery. He died December 2, 1999, fourteen years after he had been diagnosed with cancer. He was one week short of his 65th birthday.
My Daddy had every opportunity to be an abusive father and husband. He fought demons in his mind all of his life. I never knew how much of a struggle it was for him to be the great dad that he was, he certainly didn’t have any role models to follow, he acted out of instinct and love. He was not perfect by any means, but considering where he came from and his low self esteem he could not have raised two girls to be any more independent and self confident had he had the perfect childhood himself. He pulled himself up out of the ditch many, many times and accomplished many wonderful things in his life and touched many lives through his volunteer efforts. He taught me how to live and he taught me how to die. Happy Birthday Daddy!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Just Sittin
It produces calmness, it teaches you self discipline, it soothes your soul, it give you focus, it puts things into perspective. Most of you have heard of the benefits of meditating. Many of you have tried the practice of meditating. Many of you have mastered the art of meditating. If you are in the later category you have my extreme admiration!!! No matter how many times I have tried I can’t quite seem to get the hang of it. My mind goes everywhere and the more I try to calm it the more “everywhere” it goes. But there is still hope. I recently read a magazine article and the author was looking at it from a totally different perspective than what most of us have probably heard about, and I think for those of us that have yet to master the art there might just be a way yet.
The author of the article, Amy Gross, attended a weekend retreat with Joseph Goldstein and Sharon Salzberg, who brought mindfulness meditation home from India. The idea is to pay attention each moment to your senses, emotions and thoughts, without resistance or judgment and to follow your breathing “in” and “out”. Contrary to what we’ve all read about meditating, it does not require that you sit in a certain position, facing the sun with eyes closed and finger tips touching for hours. Goldstein and Salzberg teach to find a comfortable position using good posture when you have the least amount of interruptions and sit for as little as five minutes to start. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes as it will help you focus on your other senses. Strive to understand your other feelings and senses with total focus. How does your skin feel? What does your breath sound like as the air goes through your nostrils and into your lungs? Listen to your heart beat. What are the smells around you? Goldstein and Salzberg teach not to resist your thoughts as they come to your mind but to think through them, one at a time. This is a totally different concept than what we’ve learned before. They teach to finish one thought and begin another, don’t rush through them, don’t stress over them, don’t “dwell” on them, think through them and move on to the next thought—totally relaxed and at peace. In doing this you will find it creates a mindset that allows you to deal with life on an everyday basis in a more relaxed way. Even if the thoughts are painful ones, don’t resist, explore your feelings, experience your feelings, and accept your feelings. Goldstein says “Acceptance is the key. Resistance locks in the feeling. Meditation offers infinite opportunities to open our grip. We see that we don’t lose anything by letting go-we’ve just quit an exercise in futility. Peace, according to the Buddha is the greatest happiness. And isn’t that what you said you wanted?”
The author of the article, Amy Gross, attended a weekend retreat with Joseph Goldstein and Sharon Salzberg, who brought mindfulness meditation home from India. The idea is to pay attention each moment to your senses, emotions and thoughts, without resistance or judgment and to follow your breathing “in” and “out”. Contrary to what we’ve all read about meditating, it does not require that you sit in a certain position, facing the sun with eyes closed and finger tips touching for hours. Goldstein and Salzberg teach to find a comfortable position using good posture when you have the least amount of interruptions and sit for as little as five minutes to start. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes as it will help you focus on your other senses. Strive to understand your other feelings and senses with total focus. How does your skin feel? What does your breath sound like as the air goes through your nostrils and into your lungs? Listen to your heart beat. What are the smells around you? Goldstein and Salzberg teach not to resist your thoughts as they come to your mind but to think through them, one at a time. This is a totally different concept than what we’ve learned before. They teach to finish one thought and begin another, don’t rush through them, don’t stress over them, don’t “dwell” on them, think through them and move on to the next thought—totally relaxed and at peace. In doing this you will find it creates a mindset that allows you to deal with life on an everyday basis in a more relaxed way. Even if the thoughts are painful ones, don’t resist, explore your feelings, experience your feelings, and accept your feelings. Goldstein says “Acceptance is the key. Resistance locks in the feeling. Meditation offers infinite opportunities to open our grip. We see that we don’t lose anything by letting go-we’ve just quit an exercise in futility. Peace, according to the Buddha is the greatest happiness. And isn’t that what you said you wanted?”
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friends
Friends
It has been said that if you have one true friend during your lifetime that you are truly blessed. Friends come and go during our lives but true friends are one of a kind. When you are in high school you will form friendships that could last well into your adult years. You will have your BFF that you will share everything with. They will know you at your best, your worst, all of your fears and secrets. You will be in daily contact with each other via phone, text, email or in person. You will be inseparable. You will promise each other that no matter what happens, you will always be BFF’s. Then you graduate and go to separate colleges. New people will come into your life and the contact that you have with you BFF will go from daily, to weekly, to whenever the two of you come back home. You still talk to each other about important issues but your time is now consumed with your new friends and activities. Then, you graduate from college and go on to grad school, then from grad school to marriage, then from marriage to a new job and soon the contact that you have with your BFF might only be a Christmas Card.
My definition of a true friend is someone that is ALWAYS there. Not someone who is there for the high points in life but someone who is there for the low ones and all the others in between. You don’t have to speak to each other daily or even monthly. People have lives and life gets in the way, but a true friend is one that you can call and no matter how long it has been the conversation picks up as if you had just spoken yesterday. There is no hesitation, there is no uneasiness everything just flows and seems natural. And there is no score keeping. It doesn’t matter who called who last, what matters is that one of you reaches out to the other and keeps the bond strong. Friendship is like any other relationship, it takes some effort to keep it alive. Part of having a true friend is knowing how to be a true friend.
I have been fortunate during my life to have had several true friends along the way. They may not have stayed in my life forever, but I still consider them true friends. My BFF and I met each other through work. We immediately found we had so many things in common and our friendship began almost immediately. We went shopping together, we shared our dreams and goals, we laughed together, we cried together, we worked out together, and we celebrated together. Eventually we both left that job and went to work for different companies. We still stayed in touch, even though new people came into our lives, we still shared those experiences with each other. Years went by and I allowed a relationship I was in put distance between she and I and for about two years we lost contact. During that time she developed cancer. The first I heard of it she was already in the hospital receiving treatments. I showed up at the hospital feeling guilty about not staying in contact with her and for not being there when she got the news. Because her immune system was so low, before you could enter her hospital room you had to “scrub up” and put on a gown and mask to minimize the germs that were introduced into her environment. I honestly worried that she wouldn’t recognize me. I walked into the room and there she lay on the hospital bed with a huge smile on her face and her arms extended to me in a hug. From that day forward we were once again inseparable. I lay with her on her bed and we went shopping through catalogs for wigs that she would need when her hair fell out. I cried with her when she began to loose her hair and I shaved her head when she was ready. The treatment was successful and the cancer went into remission for about a year. When it came back it came back with a vengeance. She was admitted to MD Anderson for treatments and I made the trip several times to stay with her on the weekends and on days I could take off. When she felt good we would dress up in her wigs and go to the video store around the corner and rent movies, then go back to her room and have popcorn and watch movies and just enjoy the time together. Her family was so considerate. If they knew I was coming they would all go home and give us the time to spend together. We talked about our goals and dreams and everything in between. She had been the picture health, she had always eaten right and exercised, taken care of herself and done everything right. I asked her if she was angry because she was sick or didn’t she ever wonder “why me?” She said that she trusted that God knew what he was doing with her life and she was at peace with that. I told her how much I admired her attitude but I would have to ask God what he was thinking. She laughed at me like she always did and just shook her head. We were so different, yet so much the same. When it was obvious that she wasn’t going to survive, we planned her funeral. The last time I saw her she was asleep in a hospital bed heavily medicated for the pain. Her mom said she had been awake all day excited to see me, but she just couldn’t stay awake any longer. I still talked to her and she would answer by grunting. Everyone in the room was amazed by the bond we had and that even though she was “somewhere else” she still responded to my being there. She died in January 2001—she was 28years old. It has been almost ten years since I last saw her physical body. She still comes to me sometimes in my dreams. We have been shopping, we have been out to lunch or dinner or we have just been for walks. She has asked about the living and I have asked about the dead. I still miss her and there will never be another true friend like her. I was angry that she was taken from me so soon but as I grew older and wiser I realized how incredibly lucky I was to have had her in my life.
So, if you are fortunate enough to have any true friends, don’t take them for granted. Don’t just assume they will be there when you get ready to pick up the phone, because we aren’t promised tomorrow and death doesn’t care how old you are or if you have accomplished everything you set out to. Life is so short and we never know if today is our last day.
It has been said that if you have one true friend during your lifetime that you are truly blessed. Friends come and go during our lives but true friends are one of a kind. When you are in high school you will form friendships that could last well into your adult years. You will have your BFF that you will share everything with. They will know you at your best, your worst, all of your fears and secrets. You will be in daily contact with each other via phone, text, email or in person. You will be inseparable. You will promise each other that no matter what happens, you will always be BFF’s. Then you graduate and go to separate colleges. New people will come into your life and the contact that you have with you BFF will go from daily, to weekly, to whenever the two of you come back home. You still talk to each other about important issues but your time is now consumed with your new friends and activities. Then, you graduate from college and go on to grad school, then from grad school to marriage, then from marriage to a new job and soon the contact that you have with your BFF might only be a Christmas Card.
My definition of a true friend is someone that is ALWAYS there. Not someone who is there for the high points in life but someone who is there for the low ones and all the others in between. You don’t have to speak to each other daily or even monthly. People have lives and life gets in the way, but a true friend is one that you can call and no matter how long it has been the conversation picks up as if you had just spoken yesterday. There is no hesitation, there is no uneasiness everything just flows and seems natural. And there is no score keeping. It doesn’t matter who called who last, what matters is that one of you reaches out to the other and keeps the bond strong. Friendship is like any other relationship, it takes some effort to keep it alive. Part of having a true friend is knowing how to be a true friend.
I have been fortunate during my life to have had several true friends along the way. They may not have stayed in my life forever, but I still consider them true friends. My BFF and I met each other through work. We immediately found we had so many things in common and our friendship began almost immediately. We went shopping together, we shared our dreams and goals, we laughed together, we cried together, we worked out together, and we celebrated together. Eventually we both left that job and went to work for different companies. We still stayed in touch, even though new people came into our lives, we still shared those experiences with each other. Years went by and I allowed a relationship I was in put distance between she and I and for about two years we lost contact. During that time she developed cancer. The first I heard of it she was already in the hospital receiving treatments. I showed up at the hospital feeling guilty about not staying in contact with her and for not being there when she got the news. Because her immune system was so low, before you could enter her hospital room you had to “scrub up” and put on a gown and mask to minimize the germs that were introduced into her environment. I honestly worried that she wouldn’t recognize me. I walked into the room and there she lay on the hospital bed with a huge smile on her face and her arms extended to me in a hug. From that day forward we were once again inseparable. I lay with her on her bed and we went shopping through catalogs for wigs that she would need when her hair fell out. I cried with her when she began to loose her hair and I shaved her head when she was ready. The treatment was successful and the cancer went into remission for about a year. When it came back it came back with a vengeance. She was admitted to MD Anderson for treatments and I made the trip several times to stay with her on the weekends and on days I could take off. When she felt good we would dress up in her wigs and go to the video store around the corner and rent movies, then go back to her room and have popcorn and watch movies and just enjoy the time together. Her family was so considerate. If they knew I was coming they would all go home and give us the time to spend together. We talked about our goals and dreams and everything in between. She had been the picture health, she had always eaten right and exercised, taken care of herself and done everything right. I asked her if she was angry because she was sick or didn’t she ever wonder “why me?” She said that she trusted that God knew what he was doing with her life and she was at peace with that. I told her how much I admired her attitude but I would have to ask God what he was thinking. She laughed at me like she always did and just shook her head. We were so different, yet so much the same. When it was obvious that she wasn’t going to survive, we planned her funeral. The last time I saw her she was asleep in a hospital bed heavily medicated for the pain. Her mom said she had been awake all day excited to see me, but she just couldn’t stay awake any longer. I still talked to her and she would answer by grunting. Everyone in the room was amazed by the bond we had and that even though she was “somewhere else” she still responded to my being there. She died in January 2001—she was 28years old. It has been almost ten years since I last saw her physical body. She still comes to me sometimes in my dreams. We have been shopping, we have been out to lunch or dinner or we have just been for walks. She has asked about the living and I have asked about the dead. I still miss her and there will never be another true friend like her. I was angry that she was taken from me so soon but as I grew older and wiser I realized how incredibly lucky I was to have had her in my life.
So, if you are fortunate enough to have any true friends, don’t take them for granted. Don’t just assume they will be there when you get ready to pick up the phone, because we aren’t promised tomorrow and death doesn’t care how old you are or if you have accomplished everything you set out to. Life is so short and we never know if today is our last day.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The Art of Goal Setting
The dictionary defines the word “goal” as: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed. Studies show that only 3% of adults have written goals and plans and those 3% earn more than the other 97% put together. Why? Because if you have a clear goal and a plan to achieve it and you stick to the plan, you are less likely to get sidetracked by distractions. “But I have goals” you say. Do you really? Or do you just have dreams and wishes? A goal is not a goal until it is written down and a plan is made to reach it. Until this happens, it remains a dream and a wish. Let’s get to the art of goal setting.
First, you must realize there are different types of goals; long range (five years or more), short range, weekly, and daily. Let’s break it down and start with long range goals. Write down what you want to achieve within the next five years and BE SPECIFIC. Don’t just write down that you want to live in a bigger house. Write down “I want to live in a 3000 square foot house in the country on three acres of land”. The more specific your goal, the easier it is to visualize and the better you visualize it the more desirable it becomes. This is only an example of a long range goal. Create your own and create as many as you want, keeping in mind the time span you have given yourself to achieve it.
Next, write down your short range goals. These can be anything you want to achieve in a shorter period of time. But keep in mind they should move toward your longer range goals. Using the house example a short range goal might be; “Have an income stream that allows me to save $xxxxxx every month.” How will you make that happen? Depending on how you answer this question will depend on if you need to set additional short range goals. You might need to seek a promotion at your current job by studying for and obtaining a certain certification. Or you might need an additional job. Or you might need to payoff current debt so that you can begin saving for your house. All of these would be short range goals with the direct result being to achieve your long range goal.
Then there are weekly goals. These are very short term and should be written out at the beginning of every week. These will also become your to-do list. They will include things that have to be done, like going to the grocery store, paying bills, etc. But they should also include steps that will bring you closer to your short and long range goals. Example: If you need a certification for your current job in order to qualify for that higher paying job and allowing you to save money for your house, then one of the items on your weekly goals/to-do’s should be “study 8 hours for certification” (or however many hours you realistically believe your schedule will allow).
And finally we are down to our daily goals. This list is everything you need to accomplish in a day’s time. It could be “pick up dry cleaning”, or “go to the bank”, “take kids to soccer practice” etc. It should also include steps to reach all of the other goals we have mentioned. Let’s go back to the job certification. If your goal is to study 8 hours that week, decide how many days a week you can study (realistically) and divide by that number. If your goal is to study five days a week then you should add “study for 1.5 hours” to your daily to do’s for five days.
A few other pointers:
1. Always be specific, set time lines, give yourself numbers to follow (I am going to lose 10 pounds this month)
2. Don’t be afraid to add to your goals or to modify them. Life will ALWAYS get in the way and you will always have set backs. Expect them but don’t throw the list out, just modify it so that is achievable but not impossible.
3. Be realistic. You will never lose 50 pounds in one month. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
4. Keep your goals visible. Some people make a “dream board” by cutting out pictures from magazines of house, cars or vacation spots and putting them on their board.
5. Refer back to your to-do list often. It does you no good to write it down if you never refer back to it.
6. Mark through your goals as you achieve them. This will give you a sense of accomplishment and you will be able to visually see how you are getting closer to your long range goals.
7. Celebrate your successes. When you lose 40 pounds, not only mark it off your list but reward yourself by buying a new outfit or splurging on a manicure, pedicure or spa day.
8. No matter which goal you are working towards, always include steps every day, week, month etc that will bring you closer to realizing that goal.
9. Tell people what your goals are. It helps to keep you accountable if you know someone else is watching to see if you will make it and they can help support you in your efforts.
10. Talk to yourself as if your goal has already happened; “I am going home to my 3,000 square foot house in the country”.
11. As you accomplish your goals, set new ones. A successful life is a fulfilled life, and a fulfilled life is one in which your goals have been met.
I hope this has helped you in learning how to set your goals. It will seem awkward at first but remember that only three percent of adults have written goals, and everyone else works for them.
First, you must realize there are different types of goals; long range (five years or more), short range, weekly, and daily. Let’s break it down and start with long range goals. Write down what you want to achieve within the next five years and BE SPECIFIC. Don’t just write down that you want to live in a bigger house. Write down “I want to live in a 3000 square foot house in the country on three acres of land”. The more specific your goal, the easier it is to visualize and the better you visualize it the more desirable it becomes. This is only an example of a long range goal. Create your own and create as many as you want, keeping in mind the time span you have given yourself to achieve it.
Next, write down your short range goals. These can be anything you want to achieve in a shorter period of time. But keep in mind they should move toward your longer range goals. Using the house example a short range goal might be; “Have an income stream that allows me to save $xxxxxx every month.” How will you make that happen? Depending on how you answer this question will depend on if you need to set additional short range goals. You might need to seek a promotion at your current job by studying for and obtaining a certain certification. Or you might need an additional job. Or you might need to payoff current debt so that you can begin saving for your house. All of these would be short range goals with the direct result being to achieve your long range goal.
Then there are weekly goals. These are very short term and should be written out at the beginning of every week. These will also become your to-do list. They will include things that have to be done, like going to the grocery store, paying bills, etc. But they should also include steps that will bring you closer to your short and long range goals. Example: If you need a certification for your current job in order to qualify for that higher paying job and allowing you to save money for your house, then one of the items on your weekly goals/to-do’s should be “study 8 hours for certification” (or however many hours you realistically believe your schedule will allow).
And finally we are down to our daily goals. This list is everything you need to accomplish in a day’s time. It could be “pick up dry cleaning”, or “go to the bank”, “take kids to soccer practice” etc. It should also include steps to reach all of the other goals we have mentioned. Let’s go back to the job certification. If your goal is to study 8 hours that week, decide how many days a week you can study (realistically) and divide by that number. If your goal is to study five days a week then you should add “study for 1.5 hours” to your daily to do’s for five days.
A few other pointers:
1. Always be specific, set time lines, give yourself numbers to follow (I am going to lose 10 pounds this month)
2. Don’t be afraid to add to your goals or to modify them. Life will ALWAYS get in the way and you will always have set backs. Expect them but don’t throw the list out, just modify it so that is achievable but not impossible.
3. Be realistic. You will never lose 50 pounds in one month. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
4. Keep your goals visible. Some people make a “dream board” by cutting out pictures from magazines of house, cars or vacation spots and putting them on their board.
5. Refer back to your to-do list often. It does you no good to write it down if you never refer back to it.
6. Mark through your goals as you achieve them. This will give you a sense of accomplishment and you will be able to visually see how you are getting closer to your long range goals.
7. Celebrate your successes. When you lose 40 pounds, not only mark it off your list but reward yourself by buying a new outfit or splurging on a manicure, pedicure or spa day.
8. No matter which goal you are working towards, always include steps every day, week, month etc that will bring you closer to realizing that goal.
9. Tell people what your goals are. It helps to keep you accountable if you know someone else is watching to see if you will make it and they can help support you in your efforts.
10. Talk to yourself as if your goal has already happened; “I am going home to my 3,000 square foot house in the country”.
11. As you accomplish your goals, set new ones. A successful life is a fulfilled life, and a fulfilled life is one in which your goals have been met.
I hope this has helped you in learning how to set your goals. It will seem awkward at first but remember that only three percent of adults have written goals, and everyone else works for them.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Dear Lisa
We all have things in our life that we wished we would have done differently. There is always at least one turning point that we look back on and think “I wish I would have made better decisions during that time”. With that in mind I write this letter to my 14 year old self right after my father retired and we moved from where I was raised in Louisiana to Alabama.
Dear Lisa
You don’t have to be so angry and selfish. It’s not that your parents don’t understand you, it’s that they are having a difficult time themselves and it’s not always all about you. You see you are not the only one that had to move away from friends you had for many years. And you are not the only one that has to adjust to a new neighborhood and school. Because of your Dad’s retirement from the Air Force and the lack of jobs in the area you were in, your parents moved the family back to the place they were raised. They made a financial investment in a new home in a nice neighborhood that had kids that were yours and your sister’s age. The job your Dad thought he had there fell through and there were no other prospects on the horizon. But you were too selfish to realize the dire financial situation they were in. You were only focused on YOUR feelings-those years were all about YOU. So instead of helping emotionally and being a good example for your ten year old sister, you started skipping school, smoking cigarettes, drinking and lying to your parents. Not long after the move, you Dad had a heart attack, if it weren’t stress related the stress certainly didn’t help (and neither did you). He would not be released from the Doctor for any activity for many months. The stress level at home was very high. And how did you handle that? You became more withdrawn and felt sorrier for yourself. When your Dad was released from the Doctor your family moved back to Louisiana, your Dad he found a job and everything worked out. But how much better could you have handled that situation? Perhaps if you would have grown up a little during those years and communicated your thoughts and feelings, instead of being so rebellious and selfish, you could have grown closer to your parents when they needed your love and support at one of the lowest points in their life. Perhaps it would not have taken you so long to reach a positive place in your life if you would have acknowledged that others to through hard times and it can’t always be about you. Your parents didn’t understand you because you never gave them the opportunity to. You never allowed them in. You were too proud and independent. Those traits are very admirable; however, you need to learn to temper them. You had the opportunity to learn compassion and empathy at a young age- but you blew it, and had to wait many more years to learn that lesson and in a much more difficult situation.
I write you this letter because I am sad for you. I know your struggles and my heart aches for the pain that you will put yourself through. You are a beautiful person but you cover that up in layers of anger and rebellion towards any kind of authority. So, lay down your anger and the injustice you feel has been done to you. Lay down your pride and begin communicating your feelings (this will save you a lot of misunderstandings in the future). Lay down your selfishness, your family needs you now, they need to be united and strong and you are not allowing that to happen. This situation you find yourself in now is a BIG life lesson. If you don’t learn it now, it will be many years before you finally “get it”. Your life will be fulfilling and you will accomplish many things. But just think how much more you could achieve with your life if you learn the lessons earlier and can get on with making the world a better place.
Love,
Lisa
Dear Lisa
You don’t have to be so angry and selfish. It’s not that your parents don’t understand you, it’s that they are having a difficult time themselves and it’s not always all about you. You see you are not the only one that had to move away from friends you had for many years. And you are not the only one that has to adjust to a new neighborhood and school. Because of your Dad’s retirement from the Air Force and the lack of jobs in the area you were in, your parents moved the family back to the place they were raised. They made a financial investment in a new home in a nice neighborhood that had kids that were yours and your sister’s age. The job your Dad thought he had there fell through and there were no other prospects on the horizon. But you were too selfish to realize the dire financial situation they were in. You were only focused on YOUR feelings-those years were all about YOU. So instead of helping emotionally and being a good example for your ten year old sister, you started skipping school, smoking cigarettes, drinking and lying to your parents. Not long after the move, you Dad had a heart attack, if it weren’t stress related the stress certainly didn’t help (and neither did you). He would not be released from the Doctor for any activity for many months. The stress level at home was very high. And how did you handle that? You became more withdrawn and felt sorrier for yourself. When your Dad was released from the Doctor your family moved back to Louisiana, your Dad he found a job and everything worked out. But how much better could you have handled that situation? Perhaps if you would have grown up a little during those years and communicated your thoughts and feelings, instead of being so rebellious and selfish, you could have grown closer to your parents when they needed your love and support at one of the lowest points in their life. Perhaps it would not have taken you so long to reach a positive place in your life if you would have acknowledged that others to through hard times and it can’t always be about you. Your parents didn’t understand you because you never gave them the opportunity to. You never allowed them in. You were too proud and independent. Those traits are very admirable; however, you need to learn to temper them. You had the opportunity to learn compassion and empathy at a young age- but you blew it, and had to wait many more years to learn that lesson and in a much more difficult situation.
I write you this letter because I am sad for you. I know your struggles and my heart aches for the pain that you will put yourself through. You are a beautiful person but you cover that up in layers of anger and rebellion towards any kind of authority. So, lay down your anger and the injustice you feel has been done to you. Lay down your pride and begin communicating your feelings (this will save you a lot of misunderstandings in the future). Lay down your selfishness, your family needs you now, they need to be united and strong and you are not allowing that to happen. This situation you find yourself in now is a BIG life lesson. If you don’t learn it now, it will be many years before you finally “get it”. Your life will be fulfilling and you will accomplish many things. But just think how much more you could achieve with your life if you learn the lessons earlier and can get on with making the world a better place.
Love,
Lisa
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Fountain of Youth Part 2--Bustin Plateaus!!
I appreciate the input I received on the Fountain of Youth part 1 blog. I also appreciate that ya’ll took it as it was meant to be. Yes, it was “in your face” but in a tough love kind of way. So, if your mind is still right and you would like to learn more, please continue. If you are still in denial and one of those saying “One day I’ll make that change” or “When the kids are in school I’ll go back to the gym” or “That will be my New Year’s Resolution (AGAIN!)”—then you probably shouldn’t read any further. This blog will be entirely about plateaus which will apply to those that are putting forth the effort to be healthier NOW and with no excuses. So, here goes.
Let’s say you have been diligently working out and eating healthy- Congratulations to you. You should be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. You have been in the trenches and realize that it’s all about a lifestyle change, not just a temporary fix. In the heat of the battle you pushed forward with determination to meet your goals. You were well on your way and thought you had it all figured out, the scales were going lower and lower, the clothes sizes were smaller and smaller, the inches were falling off. Then all of sudden you hit a wall. You were expending the same amount of effort but no or very movement on the scales or tape measure. So, now you are frustrated, depressed and probably thinking “Why bother?”. Well the good news is you have not hit a permanent wall, you have hit a plateau. A plateau is defined as “a period or state of little or no growth or a decline”. And with the right tools a plateau doesn’t have to be permanent. Have you ever been driving home from your daily routine and needed to stop by the store? As you drove, your mind drifted or you were talking to your kids or spouse or jamming to the song on the radio and before you knew it you were driving your same little pig trail that brought you home every day and completely failed to make the turn that would take you to the store? That’s because even though you were distracted your mind knew where it was going because it went there everyday and it didn’t take any effort on your part to make it happen, it was all subconscious because it was a memory . Just like your mind, your muscles have memory. After you have been working out and doing the same thing over and over (because you were successful at it right?) your muscles have formed a memory of what you are expecting them to do. At first they struggled with it but after repeated efforts they start saying “Yeah, whatever, we got this” and it doesn’t take as much effort for them which means you are burning fewer calories doing the same thing that you were so successful at in the beginning.
So, what do you do? Research has shown that to keep our minds sharp it is recommended we work crossword puzzles or take a class in something because it makes us reach for things previously unknown to us, and that can be a little confusing at times. We do the same thing with our muscles, and it is called muscle confusion. We want to “shock” our muscles by doing something totally different from what we have done in the past. Here we go again, getting out of our comfort zones!!! For example, your exercise of choice has been to walk three miles a day. I’ll bet you are walking the same route. Change it! Find a route that has hills or a trail in the woods where the terrain is different. Or add some jogging into your walking routine. Wear a stop watch and walk for 3 minutes and jog for a minute. If you enjoy the jogging (and it doesn’t cause any joint pain) begin increasing your jog time until your jog time is equal to your walk time (walk 3 minutes, jog 3 minutes, etc). Or you can change your exercise of choice altogether and start riding a bike or taking an aerobics class or swimming. Whatever YOU enjoy doing, just make it different from what you were doing previously. After about a week or two you will notice everything will start moving again. Ta-Dah!! End of plateau. But beware, you will hit it again. That’s why you have to keep mixing your workouts up.
The same applies for lifting weights. If you can do 1,000 pull ups a day , guess what? You are maintaining but probably not progressing—muscle memory. Change it up! For example, many gyms have “circuit” machines, where you go from machine to machine working different muscle groups. A lot of times these machines are recommended for beginners because they are extremely effective and will help with form. However, after a time BAM there’s the wall!!! Then you have to learn something new because the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Learn how to use free weights or use your own body weight to create resistance. You will be working the same muscle groups but in a different manner and it will confuse them and they will start firing right up again burning up those calories.
Something relatively new in research is that we are learning that eating the same foods day in and day out will cause the same plateau effect. Change up what you put in your mouth. Keep it healthy but maybe not eat that apple and peanut butter EVERYDAY for breakfast. Maybe have a bowl of high fiber cereal or a protein shake. DRINK WATER!!! LOTS OF WATER!!! You can’t drink too much. You may have to move your office into the bathroom but water benefits us in more ways than we know. It helps our digestive system, it hydrates, it keeps our skin looking younger and it has NO CALORIES or sugars or additives or fillers. Water is as natural as nature can get.
To summarize: The thing to remember about plateaus is they are temporary IF you change your routine AND don’t give up. Remember the definition of insanity. Don’t be afraid of change. You have already made huge lifestyle changes, don’t let the plateaus in life stop you from moving forward and reaching your goals. Learn something different. Do something different. In addition to busting plateaus “change” and “different” are confidence builders. Don’t be afraid to confuse ‘em and shake things up a bit. As always, if I can help you, please let me know.
“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better”- Jim Rohn.
Let’s say you have been diligently working out and eating healthy- Congratulations to you. You should be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. You have been in the trenches and realize that it’s all about a lifestyle change, not just a temporary fix. In the heat of the battle you pushed forward with determination to meet your goals. You were well on your way and thought you had it all figured out, the scales were going lower and lower, the clothes sizes were smaller and smaller, the inches were falling off. Then all of sudden you hit a wall. You were expending the same amount of effort but no or very movement on the scales or tape measure. So, now you are frustrated, depressed and probably thinking “Why bother?”. Well the good news is you have not hit a permanent wall, you have hit a plateau. A plateau is defined as “a period or state of little or no growth or a decline”. And with the right tools a plateau doesn’t have to be permanent. Have you ever been driving home from your daily routine and needed to stop by the store? As you drove, your mind drifted or you were talking to your kids or spouse or jamming to the song on the radio and before you knew it you were driving your same little pig trail that brought you home every day and completely failed to make the turn that would take you to the store? That’s because even though you were distracted your mind knew where it was going because it went there everyday and it didn’t take any effort on your part to make it happen, it was all subconscious because it was a memory . Just like your mind, your muscles have memory. After you have been working out and doing the same thing over and over (because you were successful at it right?) your muscles have formed a memory of what you are expecting them to do. At first they struggled with it but after repeated efforts they start saying “Yeah, whatever, we got this” and it doesn’t take as much effort for them which means you are burning fewer calories doing the same thing that you were so successful at in the beginning.
So, what do you do? Research has shown that to keep our minds sharp it is recommended we work crossword puzzles or take a class in something because it makes us reach for things previously unknown to us, and that can be a little confusing at times. We do the same thing with our muscles, and it is called muscle confusion. We want to “shock” our muscles by doing something totally different from what we have done in the past. Here we go again, getting out of our comfort zones!!! For example, your exercise of choice has been to walk three miles a day. I’ll bet you are walking the same route. Change it! Find a route that has hills or a trail in the woods where the terrain is different. Or add some jogging into your walking routine. Wear a stop watch and walk for 3 minutes and jog for a minute. If you enjoy the jogging (and it doesn’t cause any joint pain) begin increasing your jog time until your jog time is equal to your walk time (walk 3 minutes, jog 3 minutes, etc). Or you can change your exercise of choice altogether and start riding a bike or taking an aerobics class or swimming. Whatever YOU enjoy doing, just make it different from what you were doing previously. After about a week or two you will notice everything will start moving again. Ta-Dah!! End of plateau. But beware, you will hit it again. That’s why you have to keep mixing your workouts up.
The same applies for lifting weights. If you can do 1,000 pull ups a day , guess what? You are maintaining but probably not progressing—muscle memory. Change it up! For example, many gyms have “circuit” machines, where you go from machine to machine working different muscle groups. A lot of times these machines are recommended for beginners because they are extremely effective and will help with form. However, after a time BAM there’s the wall!!! Then you have to learn something new because the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Learn how to use free weights or use your own body weight to create resistance. You will be working the same muscle groups but in a different manner and it will confuse them and they will start firing right up again burning up those calories.
Something relatively new in research is that we are learning that eating the same foods day in and day out will cause the same plateau effect. Change up what you put in your mouth. Keep it healthy but maybe not eat that apple and peanut butter EVERYDAY for breakfast. Maybe have a bowl of high fiber cereal or a protein shake. DRINK WATER!!! LOTS OF WATER!!! You can’t drink too much. You may have to move your office into the bathroom but water benefits us in more ways than we know. It helps our digestive system, it hydrates, it keeps our skin looking younger and it has NO CALORIES or sugars or additives or fillers. Water is as natural as nature can get.
To summarize: The thing to remember about plateaus is they are temporary IF you change your routine AND don’t give up. Remember the definition of insanity. Don’t be afraid of change. You have already made huge lifestyle changes, don’t let the plateaus in life stop you from moving forward and reaching your goals. Learn something different. Do something different. In addition to busting plateaus “change” and “different” are confidence builders. Don’t be afraid to confuse ‘em and shake things up a bit. As always, if I can help you, please let me know.
“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better”- Jim Rohn.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The Fountain of Youth
For many years we have searched for it. Men have lost their lives over it. Women have paid high prices to find it. We have traveled the world to the farthest reaches to seek it out. Since ancient times it has been sought after. But, I know where the fountain of youth is! And I'm going to share it with you! You ready? The fountain of youth is in your mind. It has always been there. It's the voice that tells you to conquer. It's the "fight" response that we sometimes ignore and instead choose to listen to the "flight" response because it's easier. It's the burning desire to have more, be better, keep pushing forward. Because when your mind is right, there is nothing that you can't do!!!
We are the fattest country in the world. There are more obese people living in the USA than any other place on the planet. I am from Louisiana and we are SECOND in the Nation in obesity. Why? Because many of us don't have our minds right. There are some cases where people have medical conditions that contribute to them being overweight and in those cases I say seek medical advice. But for the majority our health issues are BECAUSE we are overweight and under-active. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I would love to get in shape but I have high blood pressure, high choloesteral and I take meds for that. And I have bad knees and a bad back and I can't do any exercises". All of those problems are usually because the person talking is extremely overweight. So, since I am all about making the world a better place, let me share with you what I have learned in my 20+ years in the fitness industry. Before you read further, please note I don't proclaim to be an expert and before you start any physicial program you should consult your physician. But you can't/won't do any of that until you get your mind right. Nobody made you fat, McDonald's and Burger King didn't do it, YOU did it. That is the first thing you need to do--own your weight and health issues. Because until you accept that YOU did this to YOU, then YOU will never accept that YOU CAN un-do this to you. So, if your'e mind isn't right, read no further. Save this blog for a time when you are ready to accept, learn, apply, and move forward, and go lay back down on the couch with the remote. But if you think you are ready, please read on.
Things that I have learned in the fitness industry:
1. You MUST set goals. And they MUST be specific, written and posted where you will see them regularly. Setting a goal of losing weight does not get it. Because you could lose one pound and say "There, I met my goal. I'm done." Generally a person can lose an average of two pounds per week--that's 8 - 10 pounds per month. Of course you can lose more but I'm going to tell you how to do it the healthy way without pills and extreme diets.
2. The secret to losing weight is to create a caloric deficit. You must burn up more calories than you consume. Bottom line and yes, it's really that simple. But you have to know how much goes in and how much you are burning up. Keep a food journal. Write down everything you eat during the day and the amount of calories you are consuming. There are several websites you can go to that will tell you how many calories foods contain--google 'em. Then you should invest in a monitor that you wear when you exercise that will show you how many calories you have burned during exercise. I recommend the bodybugg. You log in your food to the website and it calculates your calories. It also monitors how many calories you have burned during the day as well as how many steps you have taken. The goal there being to take more steps every day....the more you move the more you burn. The bugg is rather pricey but there are plenty of other monitors you can order online or purchase at Academy etc.
3. Eat every 2 - 3 hours!! WHAT!!!!???? Yup.In order to keep your metabolism up your body needs to be fed every 2 - 3 hours. BUT, it must be fed correctly. You are about to become an athlete with a lean, strong body, so you must start eating like an athlete. In order to lose weight you should consume more protiens than carbs. DO NOT deprive your body of carbs, it needs it. But DO limit your intake and the time of you day you eat them. Carbs are best consumed during the day and not at the evening meal. It gives your body a chance to turn it to the sugar it needs to function as well as time to burn it off before you go to bed.
4. NEVER skip breakfast. They have been telling us this since the beginning of time but it is so true. The reason it's called breakfast is because you are breaking the fast of not eating for 8 hours. Guess what happens when you wake up and hit the ground running and the first bite of food that goes in your mouth is noon? Your body has already gone into starvation mode and your metabolism has slowed in order not to consume the stores it has. A slow metabolism means fewer calories being consumed and that is totally going against what you are trying to achieve. So don't sabotage your efforts by skipping breakfast.
5. Ladies, don't be afraid to do resistance training using heavy weights. You WILL NOT bulk up, you don't have enough testosterone in your body to create muscles like a man. Gentlemen, you DO have the testosterone to bulk up so, add the weights. Personally, I recommend weight training 3 days a week skipping a day in between, male or female. The reason that it is recommended you skip a day in between is because when you are lifting and pushing those muscles to failure you are tearing those muscles. Jillian Michaels doesn't call her program "Shred it" for nothing. In order to build that muscle back up, you have to let it heal a day before you tear it up again. If you don't, you will not see results, other than just being sore all the time and leaving yourself prone to injury. We have also learned that resistance training creates a cardio effect with an after-burn that lasts as long or longer than straight cardio.
6. Cardio, Cardio, Cardio. This is a MUST for burning calories. Pick the activity you want to do; running, Zumba, Aerobics, Belly Dance, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire, Plyometrics, Basketball, Tennis, skating,cycling, it doesn't matter. Pick something that burns calories and I'm talking until you are dripping wet with sweat. Make it something you enjoy doing and do it at least 3 times a week. It is important to note that this activity needs to be what I call a soul mate workout. Try them until you find your soul mate. I'm not saying find something easy, make it challenging but something that fits YOU. I love music so, I run with my ipod stuck in my ears or I do Turbo Jam or Turbo Fire. It doesn't matter, my point is if you don't love it, your not going to do it.
7. Schedule your workout time. Put it on the calendar as if it were an appointment that you can't miss and DONT!! This is YOUR time so schedule it when you will have the least amount of interruptions. I am NOT a morning person but 4:30 AM is when I have the least amount of interruptions. Get my point? It may not be a convenient time or an easy time but this is work people and sacrifices must be made, so figure it out and do it.
8. Gym or home workout? Doesn't matter. Again, whatever fits your lifestyle. If it's easier to get to the gym to get away from the interruptions, join a gym. Paying the membership and possibly hiring a personal trainer may be enough incentive to make you get dressed and go!!! If you can't stand the gym atmosphere, or it's just a logistical nightmare, invest in some weights, resistance bands and a 90 day program that you can do at home.
9. There is no such thing as a diet!!! Stop it with the "d" word!! If you want to change the way you look and feel you have to change your lifestyle. This is a lifestyle change. That means that for the rest of your life, you must perform in this manner. When you achieve a goal, stop, take a deep breath, celebrate, and set a higher goal---forever. Lather, rinse, repeat!!! A diet is temporary, a lifestyle change is permanent.
This blog is long enough so I'm going to wind it up. I know some of this sounds pretty "in your face" and I mean it to be. I see so much potential in others and it makes me so mad/sad when I hear them make excuses. I want so much for YOU and I will be in your corner because you will need support and like-minded friends. This change is not easy and most of us don't like change. But this change IS the fountain of youth. You will have more energy, more enthusiasm for life, better health, and you will be able to participate in more activities with your kids. You will be more loving and understanding of the people around you. You will find your circle of friends to be more positive because positive people attract positive people.
I will follow up with another one discussing plateaus, clothing, shoes, support groups, and anything else you want me to talk about. Please leave me comments, opinions, and any questions or suggestions you have for the follow up blog.
We are the fattest country in the world. There are more obese people living in the USA than any other place on the planet. I am from Louisiana and we are SECOND in the Nation in obesity. Why? Because many of us don't have our minds right. There are some cases where people have medical conditions that contribute to them being overweight and in those cases I say seek medical advice. But for the majority our health issues are BECAUSE we are overweight and under-active. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I would love to get in shape but I have high blood pressure, high choloesteral and I take meds for that. And I have bad knees and a bad back and I can't do any exercises". All of those problems are usually because the person talking is extremely overweight. So, since I am all about making the world a better place, let me share with you what I have learned in my 20+ years in the fitness industry. Before you read further, please note I don't proclaim to be an expert and before you start any physicial program you should consult your physician. But you can't/won't do any of that until you get your mind right. Nobody made you fat, McDonald's and Burger King didn't do it, YOU did it. That is the first thing you need to do--own your weight and health issues. Because until you accept that YOU did this to YOU, then YOU will never accept that YOU CAN un-do this to you. So, if your'e mind isn't right, read no further. Save this blog for a time when you are ready to accept, learn, apply, and move forward, and go lay back down on the couch with the remote. But if you think you are ready, please read on.
Things that I have learned in the fitness industry:
1. You MUST set goals. And they MUST be specific, written and posted where you will see them regularly. Setting a goal of losing weight does not get it. Because you could lose one pound and say "There, I met my goal. I'm done." Generally a person can lose an average of two pounds per week--that's 8 - 10 pounds per month. Of course you can lose more but I'm going to tell you how to do it the healthy way without pills and extreme diets.
2. The secret to losing weight is to create a caloric deficit. You must burn up more calories than you consume. Bottom line and yes, it's really that simple. But you have to know how much goes in and how much you are burning up. Keep a food journal. Write down everything you eat during the day and the amount of calories you are consuming. There are several websites you can go to that will tell you how many calories foods contain--google 'em. Then you should invest in a monitor that you wear when you exercise that will show you how many calories you have burned during exercise. I recommend the bodybugg. You log in your food to the website and it calculates your calories. It also monitors how many calories you have burned during the day as well as how many steps you have taken. The goal there being to take more steps every day....the more you move the more you burn. The bugg is rather pricey but there are plenty of other monitors you can order online or purchase at Academy etc.
3. Eat every 2 - 3 hours!! WHAT!!!!???? Yup.In order to keep your metabolism up your body needs to be fed every 2 - 3 hours. BUT, it must be fed correctly. You are about to become an athlete with a lean, strong body, so you must start eating like an athlete. In order to lose weight you should consume more protiens than carbs. DO NOT deprive your body of carbs, it needs it. But DO limit your intake and the time of you day you eat them. Carbs are best consumed during the day and not at the evening meal. It gives your body a chance to turn it to the sugar it needs to function as well as time to burn it off before you go to bed.
4. NEVER skip breakfast. They have been telling us this since the beginning of time but it is so true. The reason it's called breakfast is because you are breaking the fast of not eating for 8 hours. Guess what happens when you wake up and hit the ground running and the first bite of food that goes in your mouth is noon? Your body has already gone into starvation mode and your metabolism has slowed in order not to consume the stores it has. A slow metabolism means fewer calories being consumed and that is totally going against what you are trying to achieve. So don't sabotage your efforts by skipping breakfast.
5. Ladies, don't be afraid to do resistance training using heavy weights. You WILL NOT bulk up, you don't have enough testosterone in your body to create muscles like a man. Gentlemen, you DO have the testosterone to bulk up so, add the weights. Personally, I recommend weight training 3 days a week skipping a day in between, male or female. The reason that it is recommended you skip a day in between is because when you are lifting and pushing those muscles to failure you are tearing those muscles. Jillian Michaels doesn't call her program "Shred it" for nothing. In order to build that muscle back up, you have to let it heal a day before you tear it up again. If you don't, you will not see results, other than just being sore all the time and leaving yourself prone to injury. We have also learned that resistance training creates a cardio effect with an after-burn that lasts as long or longer than straight cardio.
6. Cardio, Cardio, Cardio. This is a MUST for burning calories. Pick the activity you want to do; running, Zumba, Aerobics, Belly Dance, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire, Plyometrics, Basketball, Tennis, skating,cycling, it doesn't matter. Pick something that burns calories and I'm talking until you are dripping wet with sweat. Make it something you enjoy doing and do it at least 3 times a week. It is important to note that this activity needs to be what I call a soul mate workout. Try them until you find your soul mate. I'm not saying find something easy, make it challenging but something that fits YOU. I love music so, I run with my ipod stuck in my ears or I do Turbo Jam or Turbo Fire. It doesn't matter, my point is if you don't love it, your not going to do it.
7. Schedule your workout time. Put it on the calendar as if it were an appointment that you can't miss and DONT!! This is YOUR time so schedule it when you will have the least amount of interruptions. I am NOT a morning person but 4:30 AM is when I have the least amount of interruptions. Get my point? It may not be a convenient time or an easy time but this is work people and sacrifices must be made, so figure it out and do it.
8. Gym or home workout? Doesn't matter. Again, whatever fits your lifestyle. If it's easier to get to the gym to get away from the interruptions, join a gym. Paying the membership and possibly hiring a personal trainer may be enough incentive to make you get dressed and go!!! If you can't stand the gym atmosphere, or it's just a logistical nightmare, invest in some weights, resistance bands and a 90 day program that you can do at home.
9. There is no such thing as a diet!!! Stop it with the "d" word!! If you want to change the way you look and feel you have to change your lifestyle. This is a lifestyle change. That means that for the rest of your life, you must perform in this manner. When you achieve a goal, stop, take a deep breath, celebrate, and set a higher goal---forever. Lather, rinse, repeat!!! A diet is temporary, a lifestyle change is permanent.
This blog is long enough so I'm going to wind it up. I know some of this sounds pretty "in your face" and I mean it to be. I see so much potential in others and it makes me so mad/sad when I hear them make excuses. I want so much for YOU and I will be in your corner because you will need support and like-minded friends. This change is not easy and most of us don't like change. But this change IS the fountain of youth. You will have more energy, more enthusiasm for life, better health, and you will be able to participate in more activities with your kids. You will be more loving and understanding of the people around you. You will find your circle of friends to be more positive because positive people attract positive people.
I will follow up with another one discussing plateaus, clothing, shoes, support groups, and anything else you want me to talk about. Please leave me comments, opinions, and any questions or suggestions you have for the follow up blog.
Monday, October 11, 2010
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way Through My Life
I have felt many “callings” during my life. The older I get the more “callings” I experience. I really think I have an adult version of A.D.D. because I move from one project/ passion,/calling to another with lightening speed-thus accounting for some sleepless nights because I can’t turn my brain off. At any rate, my latest calling is to teach teens how to have more confidence and self esteem and learn how to deal with peer pressure and hopefully teach them how they can change the way their peers think as well. Wouldn’t it be nice to break the cycle where teens feel so pressured or bullied that they have to commit suicide? Wouldn’t it be nice be break the cycle where teens feel they have no other options but to give in to peer pressure and race a car while under the influence risking their lives and the lives of others? Wouldn’t it be nice to break the cycle where teens feel their life is hopeless because they have been picked on in school because of the way their body looks? Wouldn’t it be nice to break the cycle where teens feel they are unworthy of being treated with respect and succumb or settle for whatever or whoever comes along? YES! YES! YES!!! So, that is my latest calling, to help teens by giving them the tools to deal with all of these issues and more. Where does one start that will give one the biggest audience of teens? Schools, right? I sent a letter over a month ago to our local school board asking permission to approach the schools about doing a presentation to the student body and any class, or club that would be interested. I referred them to my website for information (www.lifestylebylisa.com) on all of the topics I could do presentations on. Long story short, they told me NO. Wanna know why? Because I was a “for profit” organization—even though I told them I would do the presentations for FREE!!! But my website states to “contact me for rates” so they considered me “for profit” and they couldn’t give a “for profit” organization permission to come into the schools. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? Would they seriously prevent our children from hearing this message for THAT reason? Well, apparently so. Needless to say, I am so frustrated and just a lil bit angry right now at all of the bureaucratic BS that I am about ready to throw my hands up and say “Forget this. Must not have heard correctly when I heard this latest calling!”
But a funny thing happened. Actually several funny things happened. First funny thing: Two days ago I received an email from a friend with a link to a program that is being done in other parts of the country. It is EXACTLY what I want to do when I grow up with my little program. This program was featured on MTV and was called “If You Knew Me”. You can youtube it or I have an episode posted on my facebook wall. It made my calling seem even louder after I watched this. Second funny thing: Today, after I got the phone call from the school board office, my 23 year old daughter sent me a message out of the blue that said “Hey Mom, has anyone told you lately how awesome you are? I love you” Well, after I wiped the tears away I realized it felt as if someone were hugging me and comforting me as if I were the child!!! Third funny thing: Then a client came in our office and started talking about Mother Teresa (again, totally out of the blue and unsolicited). She was telling me about a book she had read about Mother Teresa’s life and how God told her that he needed her help in taking care of the sick and poor. She knew without a doubt that this was her calling. So, she left the safe, secure world of the convent and entered the world of the poor. But it took her two years before she was able to establish a following. Fourth funny thing: Then I read an article about the 1982 Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker. He has been retired from football for 12 years and is training to compete in his second Strikeforce MMA fight---at the age of 48. When asked what he would do if knocked down by a younger, stronger, more nimble opponent in the ring he answered "I do this 'Walker shake,' " he said. "You got to get knocked down many times, shake it off. Life is about ups and downs, and you got to keep standing up."
All of this happened to me in ONE day (with the exception of the first email from a friend): The link to the page that showed my goal for the future. The words of encouragement from my daughter and the strange feeling of being wrapped in someone’s arms as if I were a child in need of comforting. The story of Mother Teresa (not that I am by any stretch of the imagination comparing ME to Mother Teresa, only the trials of bringing your passion to life) leaving the safety and security of the convent for a world unknown, telling me that I have to get uncomfortable in order to make a difference and that the road less traveled is never easy. And Herschel telling me that I gotta keep standing up when I get knocked down. I am still in awe of all of these signals. It proves that there are signs all around us if we learn to recognize them, apply them to what is going on in our lives and not be so blinded by the current circumstances that we don’t reap the benefits from the signs.
I may be a little hard headed sometimes but given the signs have I seen today I have decided to continue with my calling. I may not be able to go into the schools but I will approach Churches, Community Centers, the Boys and Girls Clubs, and the Private Schools. I will still reach children and there will still be lives to touch. And perhaps that’s the road I was supposed to take anyway. It will take a little longer and might be a little more difficult but I’ll just keep standing up and walking and talking with the belief that the lives I touch are the ones that needed it the most. WOW!!! What a day!!!
But a funny thing happened. Actually several funny things happened. First funny thing: Two days ago I received an email from a friend with a link to a program that is being done in other parts of the country. It is EXACTLY what I want to do when I grow up with my little program. This program was featured on MTV and was called “If You Knew Me”. You can youtube it or I have an episode posted on my facebook wall. It made my calling seem even louder after I watched this. Second funny thing: Today, after I got the phone call from the school board office, my 23 year old daughter sent me a message out of the blue that said “Hey Mom, has anyone told you lately how awesome you are? I love you” Well, after I wiped the tears away I realized it felt as if someone were hugging me and comforting me as if I were the child!!! Third funny thing: Then a client came in our office and started talking about Mother Teresa (again, totally out of the blue and unsolicited). She was telling me about a book she had read about Mother Teresa’s life and how God told her that he needed her help in taking care of the sick and poor. She knew without a doubt that this was her calling. So, she left the safe, secure world of the convent and entered the world of the poor. But it took her two years before she was able to establish a following. Fourth funny thing: Then I read an article about the 1982 Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker. He has been retired from football for 12 years and is training to compete in his second Strikeforce MMA fight---at the age of 48. When asked what he would do if knocked down by a younger, stronger, more nimble opponent in the ring he answered "I do this 'Walker shake,' " he said. "You got to get knocked down many times, shake it off. Life is about ups and downs, and you got to keep standing up."
All of this happened to me in ONE day (with the exception of the first email from a friend): The link to the page that showed my goal for the future. The words of encouragement from my daughter and the strange feeling of being wrapped in someone’s arms as if I were a child in need of comforting. The story of Mother Teresa (not that I am by any stretch of the imagination comparing ME to Mother Teresa, only the trials of bringing your passion to life) leaving the safety and security of the convent for a world unknown, telling me that I have to get uncomfortable in order to make a difference and that the road less traveled is never easy. And Herschel telling me that I gotta keep standing up when I get knocked down. I am still in awe of all of these signals. It proves that there are signs all around us if we learn to recognize them, apply them to what is going on in our lives and not be so blinded by the current circumstances that we don’t reap the benefits from the signs.
I may be a little hard headed sometimes but given the signs have I seen today I have decided to continue with my calling. I may not be able to go into the schools but I will approach Churches, Community Centers, the Boys and Girls Clubs, and the Private Schools. I will still reach children and there will still be lives to touch. And perhaps that’s the road I was supposed to take anyway. It will take a little longer and might be a little more difficult but I’ll just keep standing up and walking and talking with the belief that the lives I touch are the ones that needed it the most. WOW!!! What a day!!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
What I've Learned
I've learned that:
We don't have to change our friends, if we understnad that friends change.
Something that you do in an instant, can give you heartache for life.
You should always leave your loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.
We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel about it.
Gone is gone. It doesn't matter if a person suffered a long illness or died suddenly, they are gone nonetheless - forever.
Either you control your attitude, or it controls you.
Sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down will be the one who helps you get up.
Sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
The simplest things in life can make me smile...if I will only take the time to notice the simple things in life.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have.
Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences youv'e had and what you learned from them and less to do with how many years you have lived.
It isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
Just because two people argue doesnt mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't agure doesn't mean they do love each other.
I can't control or change what others think.
There is a difference in controlling and changing what others think and influencing them.
You shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it may change your life forever.
Sometimes the people that you love most in life are taken from you much too soon. I suppose this one has been the hardest of lessons.
You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved and the rest is up to them.
It takes years to build up trust and just mere seconds to destroy it.
It's not what you have in life, but who you are on the inside and who you have in your life that counts.
You can keep going, long after you think you can't.
There are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
Even when you feel you have no more to give a friend cries out and you find the strength to help.
Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives but we are responsible for who we become.
I am still learning and probably (hopefully) always will be and that is when I feel most alive.
We don't have to change our friends, if we understnad that friends change.
Something that you do in an instant, can give you heartache for life.
You should always leave your loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.
We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel about it.
Gone is gone. It doesn't matter if a person suffered a long illness or died suddenly, they are gone nonetheless - forever.
Either you control your attitude, or it controls you.
Sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down will be the one who helps you get up.
Sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
The simplest things in life can make me smile...if I will only take the time to notice the simple things in life.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have.
Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences youv'e had and what you learned from them and less to do with how many years you have lived.
It isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
Just because two people argue doesnt mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't agure doesn't mean they do love each other.
I can't control or change what others think.
There is a difference in controlling and changing what others think and influencing them.
You shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it may change your life forever.
Sometimes the people that you love most in life are taken from you much too soon. I suppose this one has been the hardest of lessons.
You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved and the rest is up to them.
It takes years to build up trust and just mere seconds to destroy it.
It's not what you have in life, but who you are on the inside and who you have in your life that counts.
You can keep going, long after you think you can't.
There are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
Even when you feel you have no more to give a friend cries out and you find the strength to help.
Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives but we are responsible for who we become.
I am still learning and probably (hopefully) always will be and that is when I feel most alive.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Putting YOU back into Yourself
One of my very first English assignments as a freshman in High School was to go home and ask a parent to list the top five people in their lives that they loved...in order. This was one of the few assignments I actually went home and did. I posed the question to my mom, because if I would have asked my dad I would have had to endure an hour long conversation about his reason for listing those that he listed and how that could relate to a life lesson!!! Mom was busy cooking supper so I figured I could get away relatively quickly. Her answer surprised me though. The person that she loved the most was herself, followed by God, my Dad and me and my sis. Her reason was that if you didn't love yourself, how could you possibly truly love anyone else? OK, cool, whatever, I had an answer and off I went. The next day in English class the teacher asked everyone to share the person their parent listed as loving the most. Several answers were given before she got to me. Many said God, others said their children, spouses, parents etc. Then it was my turn. Well I wasn't about to tell everyone that my mom loved herself more than anyone else. So, I gave them her second choice, God and my turn was over. There as a girl in our class that was painfully shy, and not very attractive. We all know those kinds of kids, their clothes are rumpled and their hair never looks combed or washing and you just kinda know, even as selfish teenagers, that those kids are poor....really poor. They never fit in and they are never the cool kids. Well, when it got to her turn she said her mom said that she loved herself more than anyone else and gave the same reason as my mom. The teacher was extremely impressed with that answer and it ended up becoming a huge class discussion. The shy kid got an "A" and everyone else got a "B" on that assignment. Who knew??
Fast forward a whole bunch of years. If I asked you to list the top five people in your life that you loved, where would your name be? Would your name even be on the list? How high would you rank yourself? When did you take YOU out of YOURself? Like the old saying goes "Momma knows best". If you are a miserable, unhappy person, how can you bestow happiness upon others? If you are unhappy about your appearance, how can you bestow confidence upon others? If you are not strong enough to take yourself out of a bad situation, how will you ever be happy? If you don't feel as if you are deserving of anything good or positive, how can you expect someone to give that to you? If you put everyone else in your life first, when will it be your turn? If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? If you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you?
Loving yourself at first glance seems a rather selfish notion. As parents, especially mom's, we tend to put everyone else's needs above our own. We take care of the house, the bills, the groceries, the kids, the errands, the homework and tell ourselves that if there is time left at the end of the day we are going to devote that time to ourselves. But guess what? At the end of the day, after taking care of everyone else's needs, we are too tired to take care of our own. How long do you think you can go on that battery without recharging it? At that pace, it won't take long before things start to break and the balls start to fall, and we feel as if we've failed.
If you are waiting for someone to come along to make you feel good about yourself, or to make you feel loved, you will be waiting a long time. There is only one person in charge of your happiness and that's YOU. YOU are responsible for making YOU happy, not a spouse, or a child, or a puppy, kitten or job. YOU own that responsibility. Kirstie Alley recently said "I went to Paris and found my true love....ME". When you learn how to love yourself, you can achieve levels of self confidence that you never thought you had. You will learn to try new things in life and not wait for the opportunity to just "come along"- you will learn to create those opportunities. You will learn and accept that you are not perfect but you will have the strength to strive to be better every day. You will learn to turn your dreams ingot goals and your goals into reality. You will learn that you don't have to "settle", you have worth, YOU matter in this world and YOU deserve the best.
So, I am giving you permission to put YOU back into YOURself. Dedicate some time every day just for YOU. Tell the family that is YOUR time and ask that they not interrupt you unless there is blood or fire involved. YOU get to choose the activity, whether it be taking a long walk or jog with the dog, reading, writing in your journal or blog, exercising, taking a group fitness class, a bubble bath or any other activity that fills YOU back up and recharges your battery. After about a week of doing this consistently, you will start to feel less stressed, less "used", and less like your life is being dictated by others. You see, just this little piece of time will give you the push you need to be your best YOU! And being your best YOU means loving YOURself for who you are. When you do that, you can truly, freely give that love to others.
Oh, and the poor, shy kid from English class.... She graduated from High School with a 4.0 GPA. I heard she got a scholarship to a BIG college, graduated, moved away and now has a successful career in nuclear medicine. She must have been paying attention that day in English class.
Fast forward a whole bunch of years. If I asked you to list the top five people in your life that you loved, where would your name be? Would your name even be on the list? How high would you rank yourself? When did you take YOU out of YOURself? Like the old saying goes "Momma knows best". If you are a miserable, unhappy person, how can you bestow happiness upon others? If you are unhappy about your appearance, how can you bestow confidence upon others? If you are not strong enough to take yourself out of a bad situation, how will you ever be happy? If you don't feel as if you are deserving of anything good or positive, how can you expect someone to give that to you? If you put everyone else in your life first, when will it be your turn? If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? If you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you?
Loving yourself at first glance seems a rather selfish notion. As parents, especially mom's, we tend to put everyone else's needs above our own. We take care of the house, the bills, the groceries, the kids, the errands, the homework and tell ourselves that if there is time left at the end of the day we are going to devote that time to ourselves. But guess what? At the end of the day, after taking care of everyone else's needs, we are too tired to take care of our own. How long do you think you can go on that battery without recharging it? At that pace, it won't take long before things start to break and the balls start to fall, and we feel as if we've failed.
If you are waiting for someone to come along to make you feel good about yourself, or to make you feel loved, you will be waiting a long time. There is only one person in charge of your happiness and that's YOU. YOU are responsible for making YOU happy, not a spouse, or a child, or a puppy, kitten or job. YOU own that responsibility. Kirstie Alley recently said "I went to Paris and found my true love....ME". When you learn how to love yourself, you can achieve levels of self confidence that you never thought you had. You will learn to try new things in life and not wait for the opportunity to just "come along"- you will learn to create those opportunities. You will learn and accept that you are not perfect but you will have the strength to strive to be better every day. You will learn to turn your dreams ingot goals and your goals into reality. You will learn that you don't have to "settle", you have worth, YOU matter in this world and YOU deserve the best.
So, I am giving you permission to put YOU back into YOURself. Dedicate some time every day just for YOU. Tell the family that is YOUR time and ask that they not interrupt you unless there is blood or fire involved. YOU get to choose the activity, whether it be taking a long walk or jog with the dog, reading, writing in your journal or blog, exercising, taking a group fitness class, a bubble bath or any other activity that fills YOU back up and recharges your battery. After about a week of doing this consistently, you will start to feel less stressed, less "used", and less like your life is being dictated by others. You see, just this little piece of time will give you the push you need to be your best YOU! And being your best YOU means loving YOURself for who you are. When you do that, you can truly, freely give that love to others.
Oh, and the poor, shy kid from English class.... She graduated from High School with a 4.0 GPA. I heard she got a scholarship to a BIG college, graduated, moved away and now has a successful career in nuclear medicine. She must have been paying attention that day in English class.
Friday, September 17, 2010
The Run for Life
I love to run! When I was young I could out run everyone in my school and my neighborhood and I won all of the 50 yard dashes. I could fly like the wind. After my high school graduation it was several years before I started running again. As a matter of fact it was after my first child was born and I was in my twenties. My runs were for a different reason this time. I wasn't just running because I could, I was running to get in shape and lose weight. I never really "got it" when I ran on concrete through the subdivisions and neighborhoods. I certainly never "got it" when I ran on a treadmill (the only thing I "got" there was really bored, really fast). My happy place was running in the woods, on the trails. I loved the peacefullness that overcame me. I loved the sense of freedom I felt. I loved the sound of the rythm of my feet hitting the ground. I loved the wind in my hair. I loved the sounds of nature around me. I loved the smell of pure outdoors. I loved the sight of the leaves slowly fluttering to the ground. The only music I had was the singing of the birds and the chirping of the crickets or locusts. It was MY time. There were times I felt I could run for days and never fatigue, it was energizing. My mind was calm, I could sort through almost any problem while I ran without the distractions and interruptions of everyday life, without my mind jumping from one subject to the next. I was totally focused, calm and at peace. Then, the unthinkable happened. I was in a car accident that totaled my car (that was not the unthinkable). My head went through the windshield requiring 120 stitches, my ribs were cracked and my right knee was swollen, bruised and throbbing from being forced into the console. I had to have my head shaved for the stitches,and I had beautiful LONG hair ( that was not the unthinkable) but eventually it grew back, and my ribs healed. My knee was not so lucky. After I recovered I went back to running. My knee started giving me problems, and a doctor determined I had a torn miniscus that would require surgery. I don't know all of the technical terms but basically the miniscus is a "C" shaped something that forms a cushion and keeps your knee from rubbing bone. Because of the substance it is made from, you can either shave the pieces off that have frayed or if the tears are too severe, the only option to correct it is with tacks or staples-guess which one I had? You got it, the tacks and staples. However, the the center of the miniscus also had a tear and it could not be repaired. I was told I could never run again for fear of the tacks/staples wearing and coming loose and the tear in the center getting bigger. Not only could I not run, but I couldn't do any high impact exercises or sports--EVER!! That was the unthinkable, I think this was more devastating than having my head shaved. What would I do? Where would I find those peaceful moments again? I was assured by my doctor, there were plenty of low impact exercises and activities that I could do,but if you know me, you know I'm not "low impact", it's all out with my hair on fire or nothing. I'm also not one that listens too well when someone tells me I can't do something. After 8 weeks when the "boot" came off and I could throw the crutches away, I went through six months of intense physical therapy and quizzed the therapists on exercises etc. I researched and learned the exercises I could do to strengthen the muscles around my knee and within two years of having surgery I was running again. I wasn't running as often or as far and I probably wasn't using correct form because I was compensating for my right knee, but I had my peaceful moments back. But running was different this time. It wasn't just so much to get my mind right or even to get in shape, it was to discover what I was made of and to learn what I was capable of and the limits I could push myself to and achieve results. I learned how to breathe in order to get enough oxygen so that I could run further. I learned how to pace myself instead of running as if my hair was on fire, so that I wasn't completely spent by the time I had reached my goal. And I learned to push myself to lengths and distances that I had never gone before. Then, in my peaceful moments it struck me how much life is like running.
What if we could learn to just breathe as if we are preparing for a marathon-breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, concentrating on the sound of our own breathing as the oxygen is supplied to our blood and brain, helping us to think clearer? What if we could just learn to pace ourselves instead of running through our day so we can be the first one to cross the finish line. Funny thing is, after you cross that finish line and you are laying in bed at the end of the day, what have you really accomplished? What if we could learn to push ourselves? That sounds like a contradiction to the last statement I just made but I don't mean push yourself to DO more, I mean to push yourself to BE more.
In writing this blog I have also discovered something else (as I always do when I blog or write in a journal). There were different periods in my life when I ran for different reasons. Initially it was just because I could. Then it was to get in shape and lose weight. And then it was to prove to myself that I could achieve great things despite the adversity that had been thrown in my running path. Life is sooooo like that. The reasons we do things may change over time. But if it's something we love, we should find a way to continue to let that be a part of our lives. I am currently readinng Drew Brees' new book "Coming Back Stronger" and I HIGHLY recommend it. It's about football of course (not just ANY football, wer'e talking about the SAINTS!!) but it's also about the adversity and struggles that he faced while determined to be THE BEST quarterback, father, husband, leader, person that he could possibly be. It doesn't just happen, we have to have the desire, the drive, the determination and the confidence to know we CAN make changes.
So, I challenge you to run with me. Breathe with me. Pace yourself. Push yourself. Take a deep breath and start on your journey to the person you want to be and lead the life you want to lead. Pace yourself on your journey as there will be many obstacles that get in your way. Save your energy for the times you really need it and don't spend it on the trivial things. But most of all, learn to push yourself. Get out of your comfort zone and start realizing your dreams. This is YOUR time. No one is going to make it happen for you. Ya gotta figure out a way to do it yourself. I know you've heard it said that life is not a dress rehearsal, there are no do overs. If you don't believe it, spend some time in a nursing home or assisted living facility and talk with some of the residents there. Ask them what they would have done differently in their lives. Most of them will tell you they don't regret the things they have done, they regret the things they didn't do. Join me in the Run for Life. Let's go for it--no regrets!
What if we could learn to just breathe as if we are preparing for a marathon-breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, concentrating on the sound of our own breathing as the oxygen is supplied to our blood and brain, helping us to think clearer? What if we could just learn to pace ourselves instead of running through our day so we can be the first one to cross the finish line. Funny thing is, after you cross that finish line and you are laying in bed at the end of the day, what have you really accomplished? What if we could learn to push ourselves? That sounds like a contradiction to the last statement I just made but I don't mean push yourself to DO more, I mean to push yourself to BE more.
In writing this blog I have also discovered something else (as I always do when I blog or write in a journal). There were different periods in my life when I ran for different reasons. Initially it was just because I could. Then it was to get in shape and lose weight. And then it was to prove to myself that I could achieve great things despite the adversity that had been thrown in my running path. Life is sooooo like that. The reasons we do things may change over time. But if it's something we love, we should find a way to continue to let that be a part of our lives. I am currently readinng Drew Brees' new book "Coming Back Stronger" and I HIGHLY recommend it. It's about football of course (not just ANY football, wer'e talking about the SAINTS!!) but it's also about the adversity and struggles that he faced while determined to be THE BEST quarterback, father, husband, leader, person that he could possibly be. It doesn't just happen, we have to have the desire, the drive, the determination and the confidence to know we CAN make changes.
So, I challenge you to run with me. Breathe with me. Pace yourself. Push yourself. Take a deep breath and start on your journey to the person you want to be and lead the life you want to lead. Pace yourself on your journey as there will be many obstacles that get in your way. Save your energy for the times you really need it and don't spend it on the trivial things. But most of all, learn to push yourself. Get out of your comfort zone and start realizing your dreams. This is YOUR time. No one is going to make it happen for you. Ya gotta figure out a way to do it yourself. I know you've heard it said that life is not a dress rehearsal, there are no do overs. If you don't believe it, spend some time in a nursing home or assisted living facility and talk with some of the residents there. Ask them what they would have done differently in their lives. Most of them will tell you they don't regret the things they have done, they regret the things they didn't do. Join me in the Run for Life. Let's go for it--no regrets!
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