Dear Lisa

We all have things in our life that we wished we would have done differently. There is always at least one turning point that we look back on and think “I wish I would have made better decisions during that time”. With that in mind I write this letter to my 14 year old self right after my father retired and we moved from where I was raised in Louisiana to Alabama.

Dear Lisa
You don’t have to be so angry and selfish. It’s not that your parents don’t understand you, it’s that they are having a difficult time themselves and it’s not always all about you. You see you are not the only one that had to move away from friends you had for many years. And you are not the only one that has to adjust to a new neighborhood and school. Because of your Dad’s retirement from the Air Force and the lack of jobs in the area you were in, your parents moved the family back to the place they were raised. They made a financial investment in a new home in a nice neighborhood that had kids that were yours and your sister’s age. The job your Dad thought he had there fell through and there were no other prospects on the horizon. But you were too selfish to realize the dire financial situation they were in. You were only focused on YOUR feelings-those years were all about YOU. So instead of helping emotionally and being a good example for your ten year old sister, you started skipping school, smoking cigarettes, drinking and lying to your parents. Not long after the move, you Dad had a heart attack, if it weren’t stress related the stress certainly didn’t help (and neither did you). He would not be released from the Doctor for any activity for many months. The stress level at home was very high. And how did you handle that? You became more withdrawn and felt sorrier for yourself. When your Dad was released from the Doctor your family moved back to Louisiana, your Dad he found a job and everything worked out. But how much better could you have handled that situation? Perhaps if you would have grown up a little during those years and communicated your thoughts and feelings, instead of being so rebellious and selfish, you could have grown closer to your parents when they needed your love and support at one of the lowest points in their life. Perhaps it would not have taken you so long to reach a positive place in your life if you would have acknowledged that others to through hard times and it can’t always be about you. Your parents didn’t understand you because you never gave them the opportunity to. You never allowed them in. You were too proud and independent. Those traits are very admirable; however, you need to learn to temper them. You had the opportunity to learn compassion and empathy at a young age- but you blew it, and had to wait many more years to learn that lesson and in a much more difficult situation.

I write you this letter because I am sad for you. I know your struggles and my heart aches for the pain that you will put yourself through. You are a beautiful person but you cover that up in layers of anger and rebellion towards any kind of authority. So, lay down your anger and the injustice you feel has been done to you. Lay down your pride and begin communicating your feelings (this will save you a lot of misunderstandings in the future). Lay down your selfishness, your family needs you now, they need to be united and strong and you are not allowing that to happen. This situation you find yourself in now is a BIG life lesson. If you don’t learn it now, it will be many years before you finally “get it”. Your life will be fulfilling and you will accomplish many things. But just think how much more you could achieve with your life if you learn the lessons earlier and can get on with making the world a better place.

Love,
Lisa