Regrets

Running always clears my mind and today while I was running I started thinking about my life and things I have done in the past. I don’t often have regrets but I do sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had done things differently, made different choices or taken different paths. And as I reflected on those things I heard a small voice in my mind saying “One day I might regret those things, but today is not that day”. As oftentimes happens when I run and my mind runs too those thoughts stayed with me most of the day. In order to get them out of my head, I must get them down in print. So, I share with you my thoughts:

One day I might regret having never gone to college. But today is not that day because I realize all of the doors that opened up for me regardless.

One day I might regret never having pursued a career in music. But today is not that day because I sing for myself and it brings me pleasure and hopefully it brings pleasure to those that hear it.

One day I might regret marrying three times. But today is not that day because I would not have the beautiful children that I have had I not done that and I would not have recognized and appreciated love when it presented itself.

One day I might regret being associated with some of the people in my past. But today is not that day because they each brought something into my life that wasn’t there before.

One day I might regret making the choice to be a single mom. But today is not that day because my daughter has grown into a beautiful, independent young woman who spent her teenaged years being raised by a man that was better than any biological father she could have had.

One day I might regret being so brutally honest with my opinions. But today is not that day because my mind and conscience are clear.

One day I might regret having a child at the age of 38. But today is not that day because he teaches me something new every day and I can’t imagine my life without him in it.

I realized as I was typing this that through life’s unpredictable journey that I am exactly where I am supposed to be with exactly the person I am supposed to be with exactly the children I am supposed to raise and with exactly the friends I am supposed to be surrounded by. But most importantly, I am exactly who I am supposed to be, faults and all. This is how we are molded. I don’t think that one day I will regret any of this. It’s the ride of a lifetime and I’m hanging on with my hair blowing in the wind and a smile on my face and no regrets.