The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse is a signal to sailors that land is near. It creates a sense of relief, calm, excitement, and energy in the captain and crew. It tells them that no matter how tired and weary they are, safe harbor is near and their journey is almost complete. As I think of the lighthouse I think of the people in my life that have made me feel the same feelings the lighthouse makes the sailors feel. I am fortunate that I have had many lighthouses in my life and still do. Each of my friends has unique personality traits that draw me to them but they also have many that are similar to each other. They all make me feel safe and loved and free to express myself without fear of ridicule. But in looking at their individual traits they all offer something different. Some are calm and the voice of reason, some are high energy that leave my head spinning with ideas, some are warm and comforting and reassuring, some have a quick wit and a strong tongue, some are quiet and wise, some are patient and persistent. Yes, they are all very different, yet very much the same. After evaluating their personalities, I began to ask myself; what did I bring to the friend table? Of course, I had what I hoped were the obvious answers but still felt there was something missing in what I was offering. I decided to do an experiment and take all of the qualities that I admired most in all of my friends and roll them into one person-Me. I didn’t want to recreate “ME” but I wanted to fine tune what was already there. So, I slowed down a bit and started really listening, and not just hearing, when someone was talking to me. What I learned was, everyone has a need and in their conversations, they express that need, but we have to be listening to hear it. Once we listen and hear what the other person is saying, we can be the lighthouse in their life at that moment on their journey. I’m not saying to be fake or become someone that you are not. I’m saying turn your listening ears on and follow your heart. You will know when someone is hurting, or proud, or excited about an idea or project, or not feeling well-instinctively we KNOW this but do we give back what that person needs? Do we give them that sense of relief, calm, excitement and/or energy that the lighthouse does? Do we empower them to become better themselves?

Here, I need to give a word of caution. Just as there are wonderful, fulfilling relationships, there are also toxic ones. There is a fine line because we don’t want to become a doormat or co-dependent. When someone starts sucking the life out of us and the air around us no longer holds any oxygen, it becomes an unhealthy relationship and we must step away and sometimes that is a painful step to take. But when the lighthouse is beckoning and the waters are poisoned, it’s time to find another shore and another lighthouse. But that subject is a blog for another day.