For many years we have searched for it. Men have lost their lives over it. Women have paid high prices to find it. We have traveled the world to the farthest reaches to seek it out. Since ancient times it has been sought after. But, I know where the fountain of youth is! And I'm going to share it with you! You ready? The fountain of youth is in your mind. It has always been there. It's the voice that tells you to conquer. It's the "fight" response that we sometimes ignore and instead choose to listen to the "flight" response because it's easier. It's the burning desire to have more, be better, keep pushing forward. Because when your mind is right, there is nothing that you can't do!!!
We are the fattest country in the world. There are more obese people living in the USA than any other place on the planet. I am from Louisiana and we are SECOND in the Nation in obesity. Why? Because many of us don't have our minds right. There are some cases where people have medical conditions that contribute to them being overweight and in those cases I say seek medical advice. But for the majority our health issues are BECAUSE we are overweight and under-active. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I would love to get in shape but I have high blood pressure, high choloesteral and I take meds for that. And I have bad knees and a bad back and I can't do any exercises". All of those problems are usually because the person talking is extremely overweight. So, since I am all about making the world a better place, let me share with you what I have learned in my 20+ years in the fitness industry. Before you read further, please note I don't proclaim to be an expert and before you start any physicial program you should consult your physician. But you can't/won't do any of that until you get your mind right. Nobody made you fat, McDonald's and Burger King didn't do it, YOU did it. That is the first thing you need to do--own your weight and health issues. Because until you accept that YOU did this to YOU, then YOU will never accept that YOU CAN un-do this to you. So, if your'e mind isn't right, read no further. Save this blog for a time when you are ready to accept, learn, apply, and move forward, and go lay back down on the couch with the remote. But if you think you are ready, please read on.
Things that I have learned in the fitness industry:
1. You MUST set goals. And they MUST be specific, written and posted where you will see them regularly. Setting a goal of losing weight does not get it. Because you could lose one pound and say "There, I met my goal. I'm done." Generally a person can lose an average of two pounds per week--that's 8 - 10 pounds per month. Of course you can lose more but I'm going to tell you how to do it the healthy way without pills and extreme diets.
2. The secret to losing weight is to create a caloric deficit. You must burn up more calories than you consume. Bottom line and yes, it's really that simple. But you have to know how much goes in and how much you are burning up. Keep a food journal. Write down everything you eat during the day and the amount of calories you are consuming. There are several websites you can go to that will tell you how many calories foods contain--google 'em. Then you should invest in a monitor that you wear when you exercise that will show you how many calories you have burned during exercise. I recommend the bodybugg. You log in your food to the website and it calculates your calories. It also monitors how many calories you have burned during the day as well as how many steps you have taken. The goal there being to take more steps every day....the more you move the more you burn. The bugg is rather pricey but there are plenty of other monitors you can order online or purchase at Academy etc.
3. Eat every 2 - 3 hours!! WHAT!!!!???? Yup.In order to keep your metabolism up your body needs to be fed every 2 - 3 hours. BUT, it must be fed correctly. You are about to become an athlete with a lean, strong body, so you must start eating like an athlete. In order to lose weight you should consume more protiens than carbs. DO NOT deprive your body of carbs, it needs it. But DO limit your intake and the time of you day you eat them. Carbs are best consumed during the day and not at the evening meal. It gives your body a chance to turn it to the sugar it needs to function as well as time to burn it off before you go to bed.
4. NEVER skip breakfast. They have been telling us this since the beginning of time but it is so true. The reason it's called breakfast is because you are breaking the fast of not eating for 8 hours. Guess what happens when you wake up and hit the ground running and the first bite of food that goes in your mouth is noon? Your body has already gone into starvation mode and your metabolism has slowed in order not to consume the stores it has. A slow metabolism means fewer calories being consumed and that is totally going against what you are trying to achieve. So don't sabotage your efforts by skipping breakfast.
5. Ladies, don't be afraid to do resistance training using heavy weights. You WILL NOT bulk up, you don't have enough testosterone in your body to create muscles like a man. Gentlemen, you DO have the testosterone to bulk up so, add the weights. Personally, I recommend weight training 3 days a week skipping a day in between, male or female. The reason that it is recommended you skip a day in between is because when you are lifting and pushing those muscles to failure you are tearing those muscles. Jillian Michaels doesn't call her program "Shred it" for nothing. In order to build that muscle back up, you have to let it heal a day before you tear it up again. If you don't, you will not see results, other than just being sore all the time and leaving yourself prone to injury. We have also learned that resistance training creates a cardio effect with an after-burn that lasts as long or longer than straight cardio.
6. Cardio, Cardio, Cardio. This is a MUST for burning calories. Pick the activity you want to do; running, Zumba, Aerobics, Belly Dance, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire, Plyometrics, Basketball, Tennis, skating,cycling, it doesn't matter. Pick something that burns calories and I'm talking until you are dripping wet with sweat. Make it something you enjoy doing and do it at least 3 times a week. It is important to note that this activity needs to be what I call a soul mate workout. Try them until you find your soul mate. I'm not saying find something easy, make it challenging but something that fits YOU. I love music so, I run with my ipod stuck in my ears or I do Turbo Jam or Turbo Fire. It doesn't matter, my point is if you don't love it, your not going to do it.
7. Schedule your workout time. Put it on the calendar as if it were an appointment that you can't miss and DONT!! This is YOUR time so schedule it when you will have the least amount of interruptions. I am NOT a morning person but 4:30 AM is when I have the least amount of interruptions. Get my point? It may not be a convenient time or an easy time but this is work people and sacrifices must be made, so figure it out and do it.
8. Gym or home workout? Doesn't matter. Again, whatever fits your lifestyle. If it's easier to get to the gym to get away from the interruptions, join a gym. Paying the membership and possibly hiring a personal trainer may be enough incentive to make you get dressed and go!!! If you can't stand the gym atmosphere, or it's just a logistical nightmare, invest in some weights, resistance bands and a 90 day program that you can do at home.
9. There is no such thing as a diet!!! Stop it with the "d" word!! If you want to change the way you look and feel you have to change your lifestyle. This is a lifestyle change. That means that for the rest of your life, you must perform in this manner. When you achieve a goal, stop, take a deep breath, celebrate, and set a higher goal---forever. Lather, rinse, repeat!!! A diet is temporary, a lifestyle change is permanent.
This blog is long enough so I'm going to wind it up. I know some of this sounds pretty "in your face" and I mean it to be. I see so much potential in others and it makes me so mad/sad when I hear them make excuses. I want so much for YOU and I will be in your corner because you will need support and like-minded friends. This change is not easy and most of us don't like change. But this change IS the fountain of youth. You will have more energy, more enthusiasm for life, better health, and you will be able to participate in more activities with your kids. You will be more loving and understanding of the people around you. You will find your circle of friends to be more positive because positive people attract positive people.
I will follow up with another one discussing plateaus, clothing, shoes, support groups, and anything else you want me to talk about. Please leave me comments, opinions, and any questions or suggestions you have for the follow up blog.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way Through My Life
I have felt many “callings” during my life. The older I get the more “callings” I experience. I really think I have an adult version of A.D.D. because I move from one project/ passion,/calling to another with lightening speed-thus accounting for some sleepless nights because I can’t turn my brain off. At any rate, my latest calling is to teach teens how to have more confidence and self esteem and learn how to deal with peer pressure and hopefully teach them how they can change the way their peers think as well. Wouldn’t it be nice to break the cycle where teens feel so pressured or bullied that they have to commit suicide? Wouldn’t it be nice be break the cycle where teens feel they have no other options but to give in to peer pressure and race a car while under the influence risking their lives and the lives of others? Wouldn’t it be nice to break the cycle where teens feel their life is hopeless because they have been picked on in school because of the way their body looks? Wouldn’t it be nice to break the cycle where teens feel they are unworthy of being treated with respect and succumb or settle for whatever or whoever comes along? YES! YES! YES!!! So, that is my latest calling, to help teens by giving them the tools to deal with all of these issues and more. Where does one start that will give one the biggest audience of teens? Schools, right? I sent a letter over a month ago to our local school board asking permission to approach the schools about doing a presentation to the student body and any class, or club that would be interested. I referred them to my website for information (www.lifestylebylisa.com) on all of the topics I could do presentations on. Long story short, they told me NO. Wanna know why? Because I was a “for profit” organization—even though I told them I would do the presentations for FREE!!! But my website states to “contact me for rates” so they considered me “for profit” and they couldn’t give a “for profit” organization permission to come into the schools. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? Would they seriously prevent our children from hearing this message for THAT reason? Well, apparently so. Needless to say, I am so frustrated and just a lil bit angry right now at all of the bureaucratic BS that I am about ready to throw my hands up and say “Forget this. Must not have heard correctly when I heard this latest calling!”
But a funny thing happened. Actually several funny things happened. First funny thing: Two days ago I received an email from a friend with a link to a program that is being done in other parts of the country. It is EXACTLY what I want to do when I grow up with my little program. This program was featured on MTV and was called “If You Knew Me”. You can youtube it or I have an episode posted on my facebook wall. It made my calling seem even louder after I watched this. Second funny thing: Today, after I got the phone call from the school board office, my 23 year old daughter sent me a message out of the blue that said “Hey Mom, has anyone told you lately how awesome you are? I love you” Well, after I wiped the tears away I realized it felt as if someone were hugging me and comforting me as if I were the child!!! Third funny thing: Then a client came in our office and started talking about Mother Teresa (again, totally out of the blue and unsolicited). She was telling me about a book she had read about Mother Teresa’s life and how God told her that he needed her help in taking care of the sick and poor. She knew without a doubt that this was her calling. So, she left the safe, secure world of the convent and entered the world of the poor. But it took her two years before she was able to establish a following. Fourth funny thing: Then I read an article about the 1982 Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker. He has been retired from football for 12 years and is training to compete in his second Strikeforce MMA fight---at the age of 48. When asked what he would do if knocked down by a younger, stronger, more nimble opponent in the ring he answered "I do this 'Walker shake,' " he said. "You got to get knocked down many times, shake it off. Life is about ups and downs, and you got to keep standing up."
All of this happened to me in ONE day (with the exception of the first email from a friend): The link to the page that showed my goal for the future. The words of encouragement from my daughter and the strange feeling of being wrapped in someone’s arms as if I were a child in need of comforting. The story of Mother Teresa (not that I am by any stretch of the imagination comparing ME to Mother Teresa, only the trials of bringing your passion to life) leaving the safety and security of the convent for a world unknown, telling me that I have to get uncomfortable in order to make a difference and that the road less traveled is never easy. And Herschel telling me that I gotta keep standing up when I get knocked down. I am still in awe of all of these signals. It proves that there are signs all around us if we learn to recognize them, apply them to what is going on in our lives and not be so blinded by the current circumstances that we don’t reap the benefits from the signs.
I may be a little hard headed sometimes but given the signs have I seen today I have decided to continue with my calling. I may not be able to go into the schools but I will approach Churches, Community Centers, the Boys and Girls Clubs, and the Private Schools. I will still reach children and there will still be lives to touch. And perhaps that’s the road I was supposed to take anyway. It will take a little longer and might be a little more difficult but I’ll just keep standing up and walking and talking with the belief that the lives I touch are the ones that needed it the most. WOW!!! What a day!!!
But a funny thing happened. Actually several funny things happened. First funny thing: Two days ago I received an email from a friend with a link to a program that is being done in other parts of the country. It is EXACTLY what I want to do when I grow up with my little program. This program was featured on MTV and was called “If You Knew Me”. You can youtube it or I have an episode posted on my facebook wall. It made my calling seem even louder after I watched this. Second funny thing: Today, after I got the phone call from the school board office, my 23 year old daughter sent me a message out of the blue that said “Hey Mom, has anyone told you lately how awesome you are? I love you” Well, after I wiped the tears away I realized it felt as if someone were hugging me and comforting me as if I were the child!!! Third funny thing: Then a client came in our office and started talking about Mother Teresa (again, totally out of the blue and unsolicited). She was telling me about a book she had read about Mother Teresa’s life and how God told her that he needed her help in taking care of the sick and poor. She knew without a doubt that this was her calling. So, she left the safe, secure world of the convent and entered the world of the poor. But it took her two years before she was able to establish a following. Fourth funny thing: Then I read an article about the 1982 Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker. He has been retired from football for 12 years and is training to compete in his second Strikeforce MMA fight---at the age of 48. When asked what he would do if knocked down by a younger, stronger, more nimble opponent in the ring he answered "I do this 'Walker shake,' " he said. "You got to get knocked down many times, shake it off. Life is about ups and downs, and you got to keep standing up."
All of this happened to me in ONE day (with the exception of the first email from a friend): The link to the page that showed my goal for the future. The words of encouragement from my daughter and the strange feeling of being wrapped in someone’s arms as if I were a child in need of comforting. The story of Mother Teresa (not that I am by any stretch of the imagination comparing ME to Mother Teresa, only the trials of bringing your passion to life) leaving the safety and security of the convent for a world unknown, telling me that I have to get uncomfortable in order to make a difference and that the road less traveled is never easy. And Herschel telling me that I gotta keep standing up when I get knocked down. I am still in awe of all of these signals. It proves that there are signs all around us if we learn to recognize them, apply them to what is going on in our lives and not be so blinded by the current circumstances that we don’t reap the benefits from the signs.
I may be a little hard headed sometimes but given the signs have I seen today I have decided to continue with my calling. I may not be able to go into the schools but I will approach Churches, Community Centers, the Boys and Girls Clubs, and the Private Schools. I will still reach children and there will still be lives to touch. And perhaps that’s the road I was supposed to take anyway. It will take a little longer and might be a little more difficult but I’ll just keep standing up and walking and talking with the belief that the lives I touch are the ones that needed it the most. WOW!!! What a day!!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
What I've Learned
I've learned that:
We don't have to change our friends, if we understnad that friends change.
Something that you do in an instant, can give you heartache for life.
You should always leave your loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.
We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel about it.
Gone is gone. It doesn't matter if a person suffered a long illness or died suddenly, they are gone nonetheless - forever.
Either you control your attitude, or it controls you.
Sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down will be the one who helps you get up.
Sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
The simplest things in life can make me smile...if I will only take the time to notice the simple things in life.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have.
Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences youv'e had and what you learned from them and less to do with how many years you have lived.
It isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
Just because two people argue doesnt mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't agure doesn't mean they do love each other.
I can't control or change what others think.
There is a difference in controlling and changing what others think and influencing them.
You shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it may change your life forever.
Sometimes the people that you love most in life are taken from you much too soon. I suppose this one has been the hardest of lessons.
You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved and the rest is up to them.
It takes years to build up trust and just mere seconds to destroy it.
It's not what you have in life, but who you are on the inside and who you have in your life that counts.
You can keep going, long after you think you can't.
There are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
Even when you feel you have no more to give a friend cries out and you find the strength to help.
Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives but we are responsible for who we become.
I am still learning and probably (hopefully) always will be and that is when I feel most alive.
We don't have to change our friends, if we understnad that friends change.
Something that you do in an instant, can give you heartache for life.
You should always leave your loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.
We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel about it.
Gone is gone. It doesn't matter if a person suffered a long illness or died suddenly, they are gone nonetheless - forever.
Either you control your attitude, or it controls you.
Sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down will be the one who helps you get up.
Sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
The simplest things in life can make me smile...if I will only take the time to notice the simple things in life.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have.
Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences youv'e had and what you learned from them and less to do with how many years you have lived.
It isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
Just because two people argue doesnt mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't agure doesn't mean they do love each other.
I can't control or change what others think.
There is a difference in controlling and changing what others think and influencing them.
You shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it may change your life forever.
Sometimes the people that you love most in life are taken from you much too soon. I suppose this one has been the hardest of lessons.
You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved and the rest is up to them.
It takes years to build up trust and just mere seconds to destroy it.
It's not what you have in life, but who you are on the inside and who you have in your life that counts.
You can keep going, long after you think you can't.
There are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
Even when you feel you have no more to give a friend cries out and you find the strength to help.
Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives but we are responsible for who we become.
I am still learning and probably (hopefully) always will be and that is when I feel most alive.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Putting YOU back into Yourself
One of my very first English assignments as a freshman in High School was to go home and ask a parent to list the top five people in their lives that they loved...in order. This was one of the few assignments I actually went home and did. I posed the question to my mom, because if I would have asked my dad I would have had to endure an hour long conversation about his reason for listing those that he listed and how that could relate to a life lesson!!! Mom was busy cooking supper so I figured I could get away relatively quickly. Her answer surprised me though. The person that she loved the most was herself, followed by God, my Dad and me and my sis. Her reason was that if you didn't love yourself, how could you possibly truly love anyone else? OK, cool, whatever, I had an answer and off I went. The next day in English class the teacher asked everyone to share the person their parent listed as loving the most. Several answers were given before she got to me. Many said God, others said their children, spouses, parents etc. Then it was my turn. Well I wasn't about to tell everyone that my mom loved herself more than anyone else. So, I gave them her second choice, God and my turn was over. There as a girl in our class that was painfully shy, and not very attractive. We all know those kinds of kids, their clothes are rumpled and their hair never looks combed or washing and you just kinda know, even as selfish teenagers, that those kids are poor....really poor. They never fit in and they are never the cool kids. Well, when it got to her turn she said her mom said that she loved herself more than anyone else and gave the same reason as my mom. The teacher was extremely impressed with that answer and it ended up becoming a huge class discussion. The shy kid got an "A" and everyone else got a "B" on that assignment. Who knew??
Fast forward a whole bunch of years. If I asked you to list the top five people in your life that you loved, where would your name be? Would your name even be on the list? How high would you rank yourself? When did you take YOU out of YOURself? Like the old saying goes "Momma knows best". If you are a miserable, unhappy person, how can you bestow happiness upon others? If you are unhappy about your appearance, how can you bestow confidence upon others? If you are not strong enough to take yourself out of a bad situation, how will you ever be happy? If you don't feel as if you are deserving of anything good or positive, how can you expect someone to give that to you? If you put everyone else in your life first, when will it be your turn? If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? If you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you?
Loving yourself at first glance seems a rather selfish notion. As parents, especially mom's, we tend to put everyone else's needs above our own. We take care of the house, the bills, the groceries, the kids, the errands, the homework and tell ourselves that if there is time left at the end of the day we are going to devote that time to ourselves. But guess what? At the end of the day, after taking care of everyone else's needs, we are too tired to take care of our own. How long do you think you can go on that battery without recharging it? At that pace, it won't take long before things start to break and the balls start to fall, and we feel as if we've failed.
If you are waiting for someone to come along to make you feel good about yourself, or to make you feel loved, you will be waiting a long time. There is only one person in charge of your happiness and that's YOU. YOU are responsible for making YOU happy, not a spouse, or a child, or a puppy, kitten or job. YOU own that responsibility. Kirstie Alley recently said "I went to Paris and found my true love....ME". When you learn how to love yourself, you can achieve levels of self confidence that you never thought you had. You will learn to try new things in life and not wait for the opportunity to just "come along"- you will learn to create those opportunities. You will learn and accept that you are not perfect but you will have the strength to strive to be better every day. You will learn to turn your dreams ingot goals and your goals into reality. You will learn that you don't have to "settle", you have worth, YOU matter in this world and YOU deserve the best.
So, I am giving you permission to put YOU back into YOURself. Dedicate some time every day just for YOU. Tell the family that is YOUR time and ask that they not interrupt you unless there is blood or fire involved. YOU get to choose the activity, whether it be taking a long walk or jog with the dog, reading, writing in your journal or blog, exercising, taking a group fitness class, a bubble bath or any other activity that fills YOU back up and recharges your battery. After about a week of doing this consistently, you will start to feel less stressed, less "used", and less like your life is being dictated by others. You see, just this little piece of time will give you the push you need to be your best YOU! And being your best YOU means loving YOURself for who you are. When you do that, you can truly, freely give that love to others.
Oh, and the poor, shy kid from English class.... She graduated from High School with a 4.0 GPA. I heard she got a scholarship to a BIG college, graduated, moved away and now has a successful career in nuclear medicine. She must have been paying attention that day in English class.
Fast forward a whole bunch of years. If I asked you to list the top five people in your life that you loved, where would your name be? Would your name even be on the list? How high would you rank yourself? When did you take YOU out of YOURself? Like the old saying goes "Momma knows best". If you are a miserable, unhappy person, how can you bestow happiness upon others? If you are unhappy about your appearance, how can you bestow confidence upon others? If you are not strong enough to take yourself out of a bad situation, how will you ever be happy? If you don't feel as if you are deserving of anything good or positive, how can you expect someone to give that to you? If you put everyone else in your life first, when will it be your turn? If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? If you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you?
Loving yourself at first glance seems a rather selfish notion. As parents, especially mom's, we tend to put everyone else's needs above our own. We take care of the house, the bills, the groceries, the kids, the errands, the homework and tell ourselves that if there is time left at the end of the day we are going to devote that time to ourselves. But guess what? At the end of the day, after taking care of everyone else's needs, we are too tired to take care of our own. How long do you think you can go on that battery without recharging it? At that pace, it won't take long before things start to break and the balls start to fall, and we feel as if we've failed.
If you are waiting for someone to come along to make you feel good about yourself, or to make you feel loved, you will be waiting a long time. There is only one person in charge of your happiness and that's YOU. YOU are responsible for making YOU happy, not a spouse, or a child, or a puppy, kitten or job. YOU own that responsibility. Kirstie Alley recently said "I went to Paris and found my true love....ME". When you learn how to love yourself, you can achieve levels of self confidence that you never thought you had. You will learn to try new things in life and not wait for the opportunity to just "come along"- you will learn to create those opportunities. You will learn and accept that you are not perfect but you will have the strength to strive to be better every day. You will learn to turn your dreams ingot goals and your goals into reality. You will learn that you don't have to "settle", you have worth, YOU matter in this world and YOU deserve the best.
So, I am giving you permission to put YOU back into YOURself. Dedicate some time every day just for YOU. Tell the family that is YOUR time and ask that they not interrupt you unless there is blood or fire involved. YOU get to choose the activity, whether it be taking a long walk or jog with the dog, reading, writing in your journal or blog, exercising, taking a group fitness class, a bubble bath or any other activity that fills YOU back up and recharges your battery. After about a week of doing this consistently, you will start to feel less stressed, less "used", and less like your life is being dictated by others. You see, just this little piece of time will give you the push you need to be your best YOU! And being your best YOU means loving YOURself for who you are. When you do that, you can truly, freely give that love to others.
Oh, and the poor, shy kid from English class.... She graduated from High School with a 4.0 GPA. I heard she got a scholarship to a BIG college, graduated, moved away and now has a successful career in nuclear medicine. She must have been paying attention that day in English class.
Friday, September 17, 2010
The Run for Life
I love to run! When I was young I could out run everyone in my school and my neighborhood and I won all of the 50 yard dashes. I could fly like the wind. After my high school graduation it was several years before I started running again. As a matter of fact it was after my first child was born and I was in my twenties. My runs were for a different reason this time. I wasn't just running because I could, I was running to get in shape and lose weight. I never really "got it" when I ran on concrete through the subdivisions and neighborhoods. I certainly never "got it" when I ran on a treadmill (the only thing I "got" there was really bored, really fast). My happy place was running in the woods, on the trails. I loved the peacefullness that overcame me. I loved the sense of freedom I felt. I loved the sound of the rythm of my feet hitting the ground. I loved the wind in my hair. I loved the sounds of nature around me. I loved the smell of pure outdoors. I loved the sight of the leaves slowly fluttering to the ground. The only music I had was the singing of the birds and the chirping of the crickets or locusts. It was MY time. There were times I felt I could run for days and never fatigue, it was energizing. My mind was calm, I could sort through almost any problem while I ran without the distractions and interruptions of everyday life, without my mind jumping from one subject to the next. I was totally focused, calm and at peace. Then, the unthinkable happened. I was in a car accident that totaled my car (that was not the unthinkable). My head went through the windshield requiring 120 stitches, my ribs were cracked and my right knee was swollen, bruised and throbbing from being forced into the console. I had to have my head shaved for the stitches,and I had beautiful LONG hair ( that was not the unthinkable) but eventually it grew back, and my ribs healed. My knee was not so lucky. After I recovered I went back to running. My knee started giving me problems, and a doctor determined I had a torn miniscus that would require surgery. I don't know all of the technical terms but basically the miniscus is a "C" shaped something that forms a cushion and keeps your knee from rubbing bone. Because of the substance it is made from, you can either shave the pieces off that have frayed or if the tears are too severe, the only option to correct it is with tacks or staples-guess which one I had? You got it, the tacks and staples. However, the the center of the miniscus also had a tear and it could not be repaired. I was told I could never run again for fear of the tacks/staples wearing and coming loose and the tear in the center getting bigger. Not only could I not run, but I couldn't do any high impact exercises or sports--EVER!! That was the unthinkable, I think this was more devastating than having my head shaved. What would I do? Where would I find those peaceful moments again? I was assured by my doctor, there were plenty of low impact exercises and activities that I could do,but if you know me, you know I'm not "low impact", it's all out with my hair on fire or nothing. I'm also not one that listens too well when someone tells me I can't do something. After 8 weeks when the "boot" came off and I could throw the crutches away, I went through six months of intense physical therapy and quizzed the therapists on exercises etc. I researched and learned the exercises I could do to strengthen the muscles around my knee and within two years of having surgery I was running again. I wasn't running as often or as far and I probably wasn't using correct form because I was compensating for my right knee, but I had my peaceful moments back. But running was different this time. It wasn't just so much to get my mind right or even to get in shape, it was to discover what I was made of and to learn what I was capable of and the limits I could push myself to and achieve results. I learned how to breathe in order to get enough oxygen so that I could run further. I learned how to pace myself instead of running as if my hair was on fire, so that I wasn't completely spent by the time I had reached my goal. And I learned to push myself to lengths and distances that I had never gone before. Then, in my peaceful moments it struck me how much life is like running.
What if we could learn to just breathe as if we are preparing for a marathon-breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, concentrating on the sound of our own breathing as the oxygen is supplied to our blood and brain, helping us to think clearer? What if we could just learn to pace ourselves instead of running through our day so we can be the first one to cross the finish line. Funny thing is, after you cross that finish line and you are laying in bed at the end of the day, what have you really accomplished? What if we could learn to push ourselves? That sounds like a contradiction to the last statement I just made but I don't mean push yourself to DO more, I mean to push yourself to BE more.
In writing this blog I have also discovered something else (as I always do when I blog or write in a journal). There were different periods in my life when I ran for different reasons. Initially it was just because I could. Then it was to get in shape and lose weight. And then it was to prove to myself that I could achieve great things despite the adversity that had been thrown in my running path. Life is sooooo like that. The reasons we do things may change over time. But if it's something we love, we should find a way to continue to let that be a part of our lives. I am currently readinng Drew Brees' new book "Coming Back Stronger" and I HIGHLY recommend it. It's about football of course (not just ANY football, wer'e talking about the SAINTS!!) but it's also about the adversity and struggles that he faced while determined to be THE BEST quarterback, father, husband, leader, person that he could possibly be. It doesn't just happen, we have to have the desire, the drive, the determination and the confidence to know we CAN make changes.
So, I challenge you to run with me. Breathe with me. Pace yourself. Push yourself. Take a deep breath and start on your journey to the person you want to be and lead the life you want to lead. Pace yourself on your journey as there will be many obstacles that get in your way. Save your energy for the times you really need it and don't spend it on the trivial things. But most of all, learn to push yourself. Get out of your comfort zone and start realizing your dreams. This is YOUR time. No one is going to make it happen for you. Ya gotta figure out a way to do it yourself. I know you've heard it said that life is not a dress rehearsal, there are no do overs. If you don't believe it, spend some time in a nursing home or assisted living facility and talk with some of the residents there. Ask them what they would have done differently in their lives. Most of them will tell you they don't regret the things they have done, they regret the things they didn't do. Join me in the Run for Life. Let's go for it--no regrets!
What if we could learn to just breathe as if we are preparing for a marathon-breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, concentrating on the sound of our own breathing as the oxygen is supplied to our blood and brain, helping us to think clearer? What if we could just learn to pace ourselves instead of running through our day so we can be the first one to cross the finish line. Funny thing is, after you cross that finish line and you are laying in bed at the end of the day, what have you really accomplished? What if we could learn to push ourselves? That sounds like a contradiction to the last statement I just made but I don't mean push yourself to DO more, I mean to push yourself to BE more.
In writing this blog I have also discovered something else (as I always do when I blog or write in a journal). There were different periods in my life when I ran for different reasons. Initially it was just because I could. Then it was to get in shape and lose weight. And then it was to prove to myself that I could achieve great things despite the adversity that had been thrown in my running path. Life is sooooo like that. The reasons we do things may change over time. But if it's something we love, we should find a way to continue to let that be a part of our lives. I am currently readinng Drew Brees' new book "Coming Back Stronger" and I HIGHLY recommend it. It's about football of course (not just ANY football, wer'e talking about the SAINTS!!) but it's also about the adversity and struggles that he faced while determined to be THE BEST quarterback, father, husband, leader, person that he could possibly be. It doesn't just happen, we have to have the desire, the drive, the determination and the confidence to know we CAN make changes.
So, I challenge you to run with me. Breathe with me. Pace yourself. Push yourself. Take a deep breath and start on your journey to the person you want to be and lead the life you want to lead. Pace yourself on your journey as there will be many obstacles that get in your way. Save your energy for the times you really need it and don't spend it on the trivial things. But most of all, learn to push yourself. Get out of your comfort zone and start realizing your dreams. This is YOUR time. No one is going to make it happen for you. Ya gotta figure out a way to do it yourself. I know you've heard it said that life is not a dress rehearsal, there are no do overs. If you don't believe it, spend some time in a nursing home or assisted living facility and talk with some of the residents there. Ask them what they would have done differently in their lives. Most of them will tell you they don't regret the things they have done, they regret the things they didn't do. Join me in the Run for Life. Let's go for it--no regrets!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Love and Marriage
I have been married more than once. OK, I have been married more than twice. It used to embarrass me to say that because I looked at that as two failures. I don't see it that way anymore. I see them as molding experiences. They helped mold me into the person I am today. I personally feel that love, as society defines it, is highly over rated--but hear me out. I think Hollywood has led us to believe that love is a feeling. I believe that love the feeling is a result of love the verb. Love the verb is something you DO, you make sacrifices for the other person, you give of yourself, you listen, you empathize, you affirm and most of all you respect and appreciate the other person. It is a constant give and take--it is ever changing. And it is a willingness to DO those things for someone else.
Because of my past molding experiences I have found my true Best Friend for Life. He is everything you would want in a best friend. I can talk to him about anything, I trust him, and I respect him. We don't always agree and we get angry with each other, but that is part of the growing process. We are both fiercly independent and sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes not so good. But we have learned to respect each other's independence and our relationship has grown because of that.
So, as my daughter approaches the marrying age, I wish for her what I have learned and I wish that she won't have to go through the molding experiences that I did. I wish for her to get it right the first time. Some of it comes with maturity and age. But I found that most of it comes from knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. Not so much knowing what you want, because that changes, but knowing what you DON'T want, and that pretty much stays constant. Had I met my Best Friend for Life when I was twenty-something, would we have been a good fit then? Hmmmm.
I wanted to share the lyrics to a song I heard recently that sums this up much better than I could ever verbalize. My favorite part is the second verse. The song is called "For My Wedding"
For my wedding, I will dress in black
And never again will I look back
Ah, my dark angels we must part
For I've made a sanctuary of my heart
To want what I have
To take what I'm given with grace
For this I pray
On my wedding day
For my wedding, I don't want violins
Or sentinmental songs about
thick and thin
I wan t a momet of silence
and a moment of prayer
For the love we'll need to make it
in the world out there
I dream, and my dreams are all
glory and light
That's what I've wanted for my life
And if it hasn't always been that way
Well, I can dream and I can pray
On my wedding day
So what makes us any different
from all the others
Who have tried and failed before us
Maybe nothing, maybe nothing at all
But I pray we're the lucky ones;
I pray we never fall
I want what we have
To take what wer'e given with grace
For theses things I pray
On my wedding day....
Written by: Larry John McNally
Sung by: Don Henley
A man once told another man that his marriage was in trouble--he and his wife just didn't have the same feelings for each other anymore. He just didn't love her and she felt the same about him. The other man answered, : "Just love her. Listen to her, hear her, appreciate her and affirm her. If you are willing to do that, love the feeling will return"
To summarize all of my ramblings and to take the lyrics from another song "It's not the love that dies, it's the understanding ways"
Because of my past molding experiences I have found my true Best Friend for Life. He is everything you would want in a best friend. I can talk to him about anything, I trust him, and I respect him. We don't always agree and we get angry with each other, but that is part of the growing process. We are both fiercly independent and sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes not so good. But we have learned to respect each other's independence and our relationship has grown because of that.
So, as my daughter approaches the marrying age, I wish for her what I have learned and I wish that she won't have to go through the molding experiences that I did. I wish for her to get it right the first time. Some of it comes with maturity and age. But I found that most of it comes from knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. Not so much knowing what you want, because that changes, but knowing what you DON'T want, and that pretty much stays constant. Had I met my Best Friend for Life when I was twenty-something, would we have been a good fit then? Hmmmm.
I wanted to share the lyrics to a song I heard recently that sums this up much better than I could ever verbalize. My favorite part is the second verse. The song is called "For My Wedding"
For my wedding, I will dress in black
And never again will I look back
Ah, my dark angels we must part
For I've made a sanctuary of my heart
To want what I have
To take what I'm given with grace
For this I pray
On my wedding day
For my wedding, I don't want violins
Or sentinmental songs about
thick and thin
I wan t a momet of silence
and a moment of prayer
For the love we'll need to make it
in the world out there
I dream, and my dreams are all
glory and light
That's what I've wanted for my life
And if it hasn't always been that way
Well, I can dream and I can pray
On my wedding day
So what makes us any different
from all the others
Who have tried and failed before us
Maybe nothing, maybe nothing at all
But I pray we're the lucky ones;
I pray we never fall
I want what we have
To take what wer'e given with grace
For theses things I pray
On my wedding day....
Written by: Larry John McNally
Sung by: Don Henley
A man once told another man that his marriage was in trouble--he and his wife just didn't have the same feelings for each other anymore. He just didn't love her and she felt the same about him. The other man answered, : "Just love her. Listen to her, hear her, appreciate her and affirm her. If you are willing to do that, love the feeling will return"
To summarize all of my ramblings and to take the lyrics from another song "It's not the love that dies, it's the understanding ways"
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude
Unfortunately I didn't come up with that phrase, someone else did, but how true is it? I noticed on Sundays my Facebook friends start talking about their weekends ending and going back to work on Mondays. I find it interesting the different attitudes they take. Some are "back to the grind", some are "I know it's going to be another stressful week-can't wait until Friday", and some are "Whoo, Hoo, another week starting-what opportunitites will present themselves this week?". Guess which one I like?
No matter your reasons for working (a) be thankful you have the opportunity to work (b) be thankful you have a job (c) always try to make the best of a situation. In other words, if you don't win the lotto you will have to go to work on Monday. If your job is causing you that much stress, find another one OR look inside yourself and determine is it your job or your attitude about your job that is causing you stress? If it is your attitude, then no matter where you go to work, it will always be the same. Because the problem lies with YOU and not the job. And that doesn't just relate to a job, it can also relate to your life and your relationships with others. I'm not minimizing the stress you feel, the negativity in your organization may be real but why let that determine who you are and what kind of day you will have. I decided a long time ago that no one has my permission to make my day a bad one. Think about that. The only way a situation or a person can determine your mood or feelings is if YOU let them. That works both ways. If you want to feel positive, hang out with positive people--it is contagious and it will rub off. If you want to feel negative hang out with negative peeps and allow them to determine your thoughts--it's contagious too. Let's look at some people that let their attitude determine their altitude.
Dara Torres-She is the first U.S. swimmer to compete in FIVE Olympics. On August 1, 2007 at the age of 40 and just 15 months after giving birth to her first child she won gold in the 100 meter freestyle. Three days later she broke her own American record in the 50 meter freestyle-26 years after she set the American record at the age of 15. In August 2008 at the age or 41 she won silver in the women's 50 meter freestyle finishe in American record time. Everyone told her she was too old. She has won a total of 12 Olympic medals, 4 gold, 4 silver and 4 bronze. Everyone told her it had never been done by someone her age. Everyone told her she would never be in good enough shape after the birth of her child. Everyone told her except Dara Torres!!! She didn't give others permission to determine her future. Thanks to Dara there are women striving to reach their goals in swimming. Many of these women are being told they can't do it. What if Dara had listened to everyone except Dara? These women wouldn't have a role model to look up to. Your attitude determines your altitude.
Lance Armstrong-on Oct 2, 1996 he was diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer. It had spread to his lungs, abdomen and brain. His doctors told him there was only a 7% survival rate. His question to them was "Who says I can't be in that 7%?". After surgery, chemo and radiation his cancer went into remission and he went on to win SEVEN consecutive Tour de France races (1999-2005). In 1997 he founded the LiveStrong Foundation to provide support for people with cancer and to promote awareness of cancer and early detection. He has and still continues to lobby in Washington to make survivorship a national health priority. Lance gave no one permission to determine his life, he is in that 7%. Attitude determines your altitude.
Helen Keller-lost her hearing and sight at the age of 19 months. With the help of Anne Mansfield Sullivan she learned to communicate using sign language, to read braille to write and to speak. She entered Radcliffe College in the fall of 1900 and went on to recieve a bachelor of arts degree cum laude in 1904. Her formal education ended there but she continued to learn, read, and write. She recieved many honorary degrees from Universitites such as: Temple and Harvard as well as Univiserties in Glasgow, Scottland, Berlin, Germany and many others. She was a member of the American Foundation for the Blind and in 1924 campaiged for "Helen Keller Endowment Fund" for the foundation. She died in 1968 at the age of 88. In her eulogy the preacher said "Her spirit will endure as long as man can read. Stories can be told of the woman who showed the world there are no bondaries to courage and faith". Attitude determines your altitude.
Now, given those stories I'll bet your work week doesn't look all that stressful anymore right? These people have all made a difference in the world we live in and have impacted us all positively. They each had plenty of reasons to roll over and play dead, but they didn't let their situation determine how far they would go. What can you do to create that positive impact on someone else? OK-you work in a negative environment, so be your best and most positive YOU. Start the change, it is contagious. People naturally gravitate to positive people and their attitudes rub off on others. BE that positive person that others want to be around. I'm not saying to always be in charge of cheering peeople up or trying to MAKE negative people see the positive in a situation. People will be who they choose to be. I'm just saying, let it start with YOU. Choose to be that positive person, the light in the darkness, the glass half full person. You'll find you feel better about yourself, your environment, your relationships and who knows when it will make a difference in someone else's life.
No matter your reasons for working (a) be thankful you have the opportunity to work (b) be thankful you have a job (c) always try to make the best of a situation. In other words, if you don't win the lotto you will have to go to work on Monday. If your job is causing you that much stress, find another one OR look inside yourself and determine is it your job or your attitude about your job that is causing you stress? If it is your attitude, then no matter where you go to work, it will always be the same. Because the problem lies with YOU and not the job. And that doesn't just relate to a job, it can also relate to your life and your relationships with others. I'm not minimizing the stress you feel, the negativity in your organization may be real but why let that determine who you are and what kind of day you will have. I decided a long time ago that no one has my permission to make my day a bad one. Think about that. The only way a situation or a person can determine your mood or feelings is if YOU let them. That works both ways. If you want to feel positive, hang out with positive people--it is contagious and it will rub off. If you want to feel negative hang out with negative peeps and allow them to determine your thoughts--it's contagious too. Let's look at some people that let their attitude determine their altitude.
Dara Torres-She is the first U.S. swimmer to compete in FIVE Olympics. On August 1, 2007 at the age of 40 and just 15 months after giving birth to her first child she won gold in the 100 meter freestyle. Three days later she broke her own American record in the 50 meter freestyle-26 years after she set the American record at the age of 15. In August 2008 at the age or 41 she won silver in the women's 50 meter freestyle finishe in American record time. Everyone told her she was too old. She has won a total of 12 Olympic medals, 4 gold, 4 silver and 4 bronze. Everyone told her it had never been done by someone her age. Everyone told her she would never be in good enough shape after the birth of her child. Everyone told her except Dara Torres!!! She didn't give others permission to determine her future. Thanks to Dara there are women striving to reach their goals in swimming. Many of these women are being told they can't do it. What if Dara had listened to everyone except Dara? These women wouldn't have a role model to look up to. Your attitude determines your altitude.
Lance Armstrong-on Oct 2, 1996 he was diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer. It had spread to his lungs, abdomen and brain. His doctors told him there was only a 7% survival rate. His question to them was "Who says I can't be in that 7%?". After surgery, chemo and radiation his cancer went into remission and he went on to win SEVEN consecutive Tour de France races (1999-2005). In 1997 he founded the LiveStrong Foundation to provide support for people with cancer and to promote awareness of cancer and early detection. He has and still continues to lobby in Washington to make survivorship a national health priority. Lance gave no one permission to determine his life, he is in that 7%. Attitude determines your altitude.
Helen Keller-lost her hearing and sight at the age of 19 months. With the help of Anne Mansfield Sullivan she learned to communicate using sign language, to read braille to write and to speak. She entered Radcliffe College in the fall of 1900 and went on to recieve a bachelor of arts degree cum laude in 1904. Her formal education ended there but she continued to learn, read, and write. She recieved many honorary degrees from Universitites such as: Temple and Harvard as well as Univiserties in Glasgow, Scottland, Berlin, Germany and many others. She was a member of the American Foundation for the Blind and in 1924 campaiged for "Helen Keller Endowment Fund" for the foundation. She died in 1968 at the age of 88. In her eulogy the preacher said "Her spirit will endure as long as man can read. Stories can be told of the woman who showed the world there are no bondaries to courage and faith". Attitude determines your altitude.
Now, given those stories I'll bet your work week doesn't look all that stressful anymore right? These people have all made a difference in the world we live in and have impacted us all positively. They each had plenty of reasons to roll over and play dead, but they didn't let their situation determine how far they would go. What can you do to create that positive impact on someone else? OK-you work in a negative environment, so be your best and most positive YOU. Start the change, it is contagious. People naturally gravitate to positive people and their attitudes rub off on others. BE that positive person that others want to be around. I'm not saying to always be in charge of cheering peeople up or trying to MAKE negative people see the positive in a situation. People will be who they choose to be. I'm just saying, let it start with YOU. Choose to be that positive person, the light in the darkness, the glass half full person. You'll find you feel better about yourself, your environment, your relationships and who knows when it will make a difference in someone else's life.
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